Please forgive me if I get a bit sentimental. Tomorrow, my baby turns three. This might sound simple enough and even relatively uneventful but, to me, it is huge. I have two children and have no plans to have more. Actually, I shudder at the thought. I am happy with my two and feel I have paid my dues of sleepless nights and human milkmaid. Still, I suddenly realized that this is it…there is no turning back. It just snuck up on me. I was so wrapped up in filling our days and keeping my head above water that the self-induced significance of this pending event almost passed me by.
I was sitting on a chairlift with my sister-in-law spending a wonderful winter day skiing and chasing my speed demon six year old down the hill when it struck me. She was telling me about her 16 year old son and the strangeness of his transition to adulthood – not for him, but for her. What do I do now? My thought was – hey, aren’t I still 16? And that’s when it started. My baby is turning three. She is my last, so I am done. Done with that part of my life and the rest is inevitable. Soon enough I am going to be the one on the lift sharing my discomfort about my kids’ coming of age. How can this be?! It was only moments ago that it was me looking forward not back! When did this change?
I am not sad that my babies are growing up or even that I am "passing the torch". What I wish for is a way to hold onto it. A way to take certain precious moments and see them again, revisit them because they go by so fast – before you even have a chance to appreciate them. I would revisit the smell of my babies. I would visit those peaceful moments shared nursing them to sleep or rubbing their little round backs. I would hold onto their first laugh, step, and word. Here lies the problem, I would hold onto it all.
So, on my daughter’s third birthday I will remember the baby she was and celebrate the woman she will be. In the meantime, I will try and cherish every moment with my special little three year old girl.
Jen
So true – My baby turned 8 months today and I just discovered the razer sharp edge of her 1st tooth – she’s well on her way to toddlerhood, and I’m just starting to accept that she’s not a newborn anymore!
I can absolutely appreciate your sentiments. My daughter is only six months old now and I’m already saying ‘remember when…’ I miss her teeny tiny feet and first smiles. None can surpass the current joys and discoveries but it was not long ago that I held a itty bitty baby in my arms. Well said!
I enjoyed reading your article very much as I am in the very same boat. My daughter who also just turned three in December is also my youngest of two and I went through (and am still going through) these very same feelings. Time is sure flying by! Memories are truly a wonderful thing and something I intend to cherish forever. Our goal will be to make many more happy memories as our children grow up….it is our only way of hanging on to our babies (and creating a wonderful bond with the young adults they will become).