From Paris to Toronto – Our Family’s Adventure

We received for Christmas 2004 the most unique present a family could dream of: a 3 year trip to Canada for the 5 of us!  It didn’t take us long to make up our French minds : Yes we would grab the opportunity to open our minds wide, we would accept the expatriation offer and move from Paris to Toronto.

“What school will our three kids go to? English, French speaking, Bilingual? Private, public, catholic?” Despite hours of exploration of the Canadian educational system on the internet, this remained a tricky question until we met the principal of the English speaking public school we now drop our 3 kids off to every morning. From the very first minute in his office, we both knew that he was the man we would entrust with our kids. Nothing could have been more convincing than the protective welcome of his life-long experience in education.

The day after we landed in Canada, Gaspard, 7,and Ines and Agathe 5 years old headed to their new school, not frightened at all of being immersed into a new language because “they already knew 5 English words: yes, no, hello, thank-you and good bye”!

We were amazed at how fast and smoothly they adapted to their new school. Quite quickly we figured out that, as parents, we also had to make an adjustment ourselves…

I was constantly told how great my kids were doing  at school and I was feeling so good hearing those comments that …. I quickly understood how vital they were for my kids! Never in France had they been so encouraged and I felt these comments – “good boy”, “amazing job” – were to them as water is to a plant. Such a basic thing may appear stupid to you but the French educational system is based on standard requirements and if you meet them, you’re fine, period. Only if you don’t would someone talk to you. No daily congratulations for just doing your job properly.

I also had to refrain myself from “doing it the French way”.  I had to:

Refrain from requiring perfect homework.
As soon as I stopped suggesting corrections to his writing, Gaspard got more and more imaginative. And the teacher would not send him back home with a note suggesting that I should not forget about helping my son with his homework.

Refrain from thinking math should be rigorously taught step by step.
Yes Ines and Agathe were able to find out how to share a box of 12 cookies between 4 kids even though they knew nothing of division and were hardly able to sum.

Refrain from thinking that only academics matter.
No, spending your day going from the library to the Gym, and from the book buddy class to the music lesson is not a very special day, it is just a usual fun day of school!

On the one hand I felt my kids were not learning the “sense of effort”. Accepting that my grade 3 boy did not have to learn off by heart his multiplication charts drove me crazy. I think that memorizing is an excellent effort as long as it doesn’t replace understanding. On the other hand, what’s the value of making efforts? Wouldn’t fun learning lead much farther?

Another surprise was to see that the behavior of a child was not limited to his ability to respect the rules of the group. In Canada, attention is being paid from kindergarten onward to conflict management and leadership development. I feel it is more than simply a gesture supported by a few lines on their report cards.  I really think it results in a different atmosphere in the class. Most French kids going back to Paris-France after a few years in Canada report suffering from the aggressiveness of their peers.

This could be a result of their experience in Canadian schools or simply a cultural difference : test an all-way stop in the streets of Paris and you will see it will immediately lead to war!

I am really thrilled that my kids can experience a different educational system. Not only will they have learned a new crucial language, made new friends on the other side of the ocean and discovered new sports, but they will also hopefully understand that there is not one single truth in life.

This story was contributed by Geraldine, an urbanmoms.ca member and mother to Gaspard, Agathe, and Ines pictured above.  If you would like to share a story or experience, please email us at email@urbanmoms.ca.  We’d love to hear from you!