My older son, Matthew, is one of my greatest joys and one of my greatest sources of stress. He is a little dynamo who does not stop challenging my husband and I, both mentally and physically, each day. Matthew has a severe allergy to peanuts and has severe, fast-onset asthma. He has had an epi-pen since 6 months of age when we first discovered an anaphylaxis reaction to dairy. Since the diagnosis of peanut allergy at age 4, he has carried his epi-pen on himself in an epi-belt at all times. He wears a medic alert bracelet proudly and immediately alerts all new acquaintances that, “I am Matthew, and I am allergic to nuts- see!” We have always said to Matthew that he has to use his head at all the times- always thinking about what is smart and safe.
I have purchased a t-shirt from Nonuttin’ Foods Inc. that states: I have a food allergy. Please do not offer me any food. I save this for occasions when we are in large groups, when I may not be right beside him at all times and when there may be a variety of foods offered or available. Last night, I left Matthew for the first time at a birthday party. He was armed with his epi-pen, shirt and his self-awareness!
I had chatted with the birthday boy’s mom prior to the event about Matthew’s allergy. As a teacher, she had training in the administration of the epi-pen and had made all food selections peanut-free with the exception of the cake. I had brought a nut-free cup-cake alternative for Matthew and asked that she watch carefully that no cake accidentally comes his way. I left her my cell number and then turned to say goodbye to Matthew. “Kiss and a hug”, he said! Gladly I obliged… and held back a little tear. Then he said, “Don’t worry momma, I have my epi and my head!” I couldn’t hold back the tears then! I quickly grabbed my younger son, who had a mouth full of chips, made eye contact with the mom that I was leaving, and actually left.
The little guy is only 4 and he is so responsible. Although he can be such a challenge, it puts it all in context when you realise the challenge that he has had to face at such a young age- and he has done it with such maturity. Perhaps I should be taking a few lessons from him rather than rushing to teach him how to deal with frustrating situations my way!
I know that there are several other parents out there dealing with this, and much more severe situations each day. I get so frustrated with my son and his behaviour that I often forget to salute the little soldier and all those other parents and children out there who deal with much, much more! Here’s to you- and to the little ones who deal so well with the big stuff!
Britta is urbanmoms.ca’s Early Literacy Expert and mom to Andrew, aged 2, and Matthew, aged 4.
Both of my children have severe food allergies. I have so much respect and admiration for you, Britta! I have yet to be able to let my kids out of my sight and I know this is a problem. My 5 year old has only been to 2 birthday parties and I stayed with him the whole time…I mean right next to him. He does not seem as mature as Matthew and I am just not sure I can trust him not to eat something when no one is looking.
My daugher is only 3 and she would put anything in her mouth.
How did you get to this point? How were you able to let go?
Thanks for this. Hopefully it will help me take the next step.