By urbanmoms.ca member Kiersten
I grew up in the big city, so always considered myself a big city girl. Before children, I always thought I would have kids, go back to work and live in the big city. It wasn’t until I had my daughter in 2003, that my mindset began to shift. Suddenly I was looking at any and every opportunity available to give me a chance to stay home and be a full-time mom.
The decision to move to a small town was the easy part. The adjustment has been hard. Although my sister lives nearby, I have missed my friends and support network. Our son was born here in 2005, less than a year after we arrived. He came with his own surprise, a disability we weren’t expecting. So suddenly being alone in a new place without my friends was even harder. Adjusting to life with two kids was rough too – much more difficult than I expected. I wasn’t prepared for life with a toddler and a newborn.
I’ve worked hard to get out to community playgroups, trying to connect with other moms. New friendships take time and with the added time commitment of parenting two small children, it’s hard to make connections with other like minded moms. This has been a hard community to find those like minded counterparts. In Nelson, I’m a fish out of water. My parenting style sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from many of the people I’ve met. I’m an anomaly amongst the ranks of parents who never put their babies down, sleep with them at night and breastfeed until they are two. I’ve learned to do lots of listening and not so much talking when I first meet another mom.
It’s taken almost three years to feel like Nelson is truly my home. I’ve found some amazing friends. I have friends who have different parenting styles, but we accept each other’s choices and even bounce different ideas off each other for support in tricky situations. I’ve found some "two kid" friends who have returned laughter to my life. They know how challenging two kids can be and we can commiserate over toddler tantrums and preschooler attitudes.
Small town living feels good now. I love walking down the main street and running into people I know. I love taking my kids to the beach in the summer and knowing that more often than not we will find friends to play with. I love being able to drive anywhere in 10 minutes. I still feel the pull of the big city, of having everything at my fingertips. I miss my “girls”, the friends I made in university and my early career. I wonder what I’ll do for work when the time comes to go back as options here are limited. I miss being able to choose a movie to go to, instead of waiting for the one I want to see to come to our one-screen theatre. I guess that’s what makes a visit to the big city that much sweeter.
Have a similar experience to Kiersten’s? Or maybe you moved from a small town to the big city? Whatever your situation, if you’ve got thoughts or advice to share, do it in comments, below!
I have had a similar experience – I moved up ‘shop’ and across the world 10 years ago and not a day goes by when I don’t miss Toronto! Australia has been very good to our family but a bit of me still pines for The Big Smoke.
It took a while, but I have made some very good friends, have a great career and live in a wonderful neighbourhood, with a great support network as I have no family here.
And I tell ya, Perth sure feels like a small town in comparison to Toronto LOL!
Kierston, I was reading your story and it was like reading my very own! My husband and I moved out of the city to the sleepy little town of Tofield last September. I am still adjusting, I too have a toddler and now a 3 month old. I miss everything about the city, my friends,my family the shopping, the hustle and bustle. I feel overwhelmed most of the time, but I know that in time, I will have found my place here. Thanks for sharing your experience, it helped to see that there may be a light at the end of this long tunnel!
I’ll add that after almost 4 years he is closer to the top of the list and it might be soon…I have my fingers crossed!
Next summer would be perfect.
Patti
You might have a like minded neighbor sooner than later!
My family is waiting for my husband’s transfer to Nelson to come in. I’m constantly on MLS looking at houses that are for sale and jobs at the hospital.
I’ll let youknow when my arse hits town!
Patti B. (who is at the tail end of breastfeeding her 4 year old twins!)
I was floored when I read your story – which I’m just about to face myself! Moving from big city Mississauga to small town in Niagara Region – giving up security of job, friend support network, nearby family = scary. My daughter is worth every anxious moment. If only there were definite answers and outcomes to all of this change! Thanks for your story, which lets me know there are others out there going through the same upheaval!