Talking To Your Teens About Dating – Part 1

I may look like Snow White but I am not waiting for my prince to save me

Being a mom means there is always a fresh issue to tackle. In every stage there has been so much for me to learn about, get my head around and enjoy. I guess I should say fear too, although I would be lying. I can’t say why but I just love every bit of it. Worry and fear, for me, is like a wrecking ball. And unlike Miley, I don’t want to ride it.

A very unexpected coincidence of my life with my girls is that I can talk to them about dating as though it is not ancient history. I can (attempt to) model the behaviour I believe in and talk about feelings around all of it first hand.

This is not the same thing as making them my girlfriends.

I continue to learn some amazing lessons and even though some have been hard, I am grateful for them.

These are my thoughts on dating I share with my girls –

1. A date is an opportunity to meet a new person and learn a little something. Love it for that alone and put very, very little stock in it beyond that.

2. A date is a chance to present yourself and your world to someone new. How great is that?

3. When someone asks you to dance, or out for an event – be cordial. At any age this was not easy for them. Dance with everyone – it won’t kill you. Grab a coffee with people you might enjoy. If you know for certain they are not your type, be polite and explain gently. It won’t hurt as they hardly know you.

4. They are no more shopping you than you are shopping them. The ball is in your court if you decide it is so.

The ball is in your court if you decide it is so.

5. Be who you are no matter what. In some cases the other will learn from your example. In some cases not. But in all cases you have been true to you.

6. Be passionate.

7. Be careful.

8. Let them into your life easily if they are good. Because this is who you are. If they do not let you into theirs, this means something worth noting.

9. You have no idea what someone is thinking. Care about what you are thinking.

You have no idea what someone is thinking. Care about what you are thinking.

10. How do they treat their family, friends, belongings, work? This will tell you much.

10. Keep your plans and needs in your thoughts at all times.

11. Get them to pick you up. And come through the front door.

12. Treat them well. This will inspire them to treat you well. If they don’t, explain clearly what you need. If they still don’t, move quickly in the other direction.

13. Say thank you.

14. Enjoy yourself.

15. Remember we are all human. This thought has changed, for the better, the way I view every single person I know.

Remember we are all human.

16. Keep your heart and eyes open.

17. Allow yourself to be surprised.

18. Whether you are loved back or not by one particular person, you should say over and over in your head, I am loveable. Because you are.

19. Lead a full and happy life so that regardless of your love life, you are loving life.