On Beauty and Pageantry.

A few weeks ago, as I was dropping Ava Scarlett off at the museum (not the time we saw the Chihuly exhibit, which EVERYONE should see, by the way) but rather for a birthday party. I gave her a quick once-over before entering through the doors, and noticed some schmutz on her cheek and near her nose. (You know how kids are dirty, right?) And of course I didn’t have a tissue handy, since I was riding my scooter, and only had the barest of essentials in my wee bag… so I did what muthers everywhere do in situations such as this: I licked my thumb, and began wiping her in the necessary places, while she recoiled in horror, trying to get away from my moist digit.

*shrugs* It’s just like that sometimes.

Anyway, an elderly couple were just about to walk past us as as I began this outdoor grooming session, and the woman stopped and stared for a second, before inching onward. And then she stopped again and bore holes into the back of my skull with her beady eyes, until I actually looked back at her with a questioning look. Yeeeeees? I felt certain she was about to call me out for smearing spit all over my kid, but I was wrong.

“Why are you putting makeup on that child?”

“Pardon… what?!”

The woman’s brows knit together as her eyes narrowed more pointedly. (It was a miracle she could see out of such tiny slits.) She pointed a boney finger at my daughter and said, “Don’t put makeup on her. She doesn’t need makeup, she’s a child!”

Her husband grunted with his mouth down-turned, steadfastly agreeing with his wife. My mouth hung open and I gasped, and clutched my imaginary pearls.

“I’m not… she’s isn’t… Madame? She’s not wearing any makeup!”

The woman immediately straightened up, and her eyes opened wider. “She isn’t?”

“Well no, of course not. She’s five.”

“Oh! Oh, well… she’s just beautiful!” The woman’s eyebrows lifted, and her face split into an enormous, congratulatory smile. She actually held her hand out wanting to stroke Ava Scarlett’s damp, curly hair.

It was my turn to knit my brows together.

“Um, thank… you…” I shot the woman an skeptical look, as I spun my daughter by the shoulder and ushered her towards the museum doors. I had a bad taste in my mouth, but I didn’t quite know why.

I’ve thought of this woman often since then, and what felt like an odd exchange. I actually felt a bit offended, somehow. I mean, who puts makeup on a child?

Oh, wait.

Hai, Honey…

Now, I understand makeup for special reasons, like for theatrics and the like, but I can’t get into the culture of pageantry. I don’t dig it for adult women, but I especially hate it for children since I find the world of beauty pageants extremely weird. What is the point of it, exactly? Is this a sport? Nay, it is just sporting. Like a pony show. Only, they’re little girls. With hair extensions, false eyelashes, fake nails, and spray-on tans. And in some cases, even prosthetic teeth, because everybody knows how un-fetch a six-year-old’s gummy mug looks when she’s lost her two front teeth. UG-LEE!

France has called for a ban on beauty-pageants for children, which I applaud. There needs to be an end to hyper-sexualisation in children. I’m not talking about using children for age-appropriate-fashion shows (and not, say, wearing gold lamé Dior dresses with padding in the boobie areas) and I’m not talking about your princess-for-a-day shenanigans either. *gags* But the “naughty” versions of halloween cosumes for kids has to stop. I even have trouble with high-heels on kids wearing a size 11 shoe. I don’t want to see 10 year olds get waxed. And that lip-gloss that comes in the loot bags? Trashed. It’s too soon… they have their WHOLE lives for that stuff if they want, but the more we see that crap, the more normal is appears to be, and we become desensitized.

(Incidentally, I love the 2006 movie Little Miss Sunshine – didn’t you? It isn’t only about the weird world of pageantry, but the story is terrific, and I especially loved seeing the whole day burn down at the end. Glorious.)

DNA is what it is, but I hate to see kids prized for their looks. I want my kids’ hair, faces and nails to look cared for, as well as their clothes – this is my priority, but only because I think it’s correct, and believe in putting one’s best foot forward – but not because I want my kids to look like the winners of The Big Show. You know what I mean?

What do you think of beauty pageants? What do you think of ones for children?