When Their First Pet Dies

When I was twelve years old, I came home from school and the collar, belonging to my beloved dog Thumper, was lying on the kitchen table. That morning my mom had taken him to the vet. The collar was not a good sign and sure enough, Thumper was gone. I wasn’t pleased. ‘Mom – I didn’t get to say goodbye. How could you do this without talking to us first?’ I was so upset. So was my mother. Not only did she lose her dog but she had to deal with her four kids, all with broken hearts. I didn’t recognize that at the time. All. About. Me.

The day Anthony arrived

Yesterday, Will’s blue fish died. Anthony. We’ve had him for about three years. I think Will lost interest in that fish after month one.

When I saw Anthony’s brown lifeless body (do betta fish lose their colour when they croak?) sunk at the bottom of the bowl, I immediately texted my sister. Do I tell him or not? Then I thought to myself, You know this kid better than anyone, what do you think? I thought to tell him. I’m still not sure I should have.

Here’s the deal. There has been a whack of death talk around here lately. Martin Luther King Jr., Terry Fox, my mother. We talk openly and regularly how some people get very sick and their bodies can’t take anymore hurting so they die. Given that he didn’t seem attached to the fish, I thought he’d get it and move on. I suggested that we do a ceremony ala Cosby Show. Remember? He said he would like that.

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But then, he seemed to get over it. Until dinner. I looked over and tears were pouring down his face. The real tears. The ones that break your heart into a million pieces. The next two hours were filled with racking sobs and wails of “He was my best friend mommy”. “I’ll never see him again. I want my Anthony!” Then he said, “I want us to do the ceremony.”

Okay, back story? Recently he asked me what I thought was on the other side of a rainbow. I said I thought that was where people went after they died and that I hoped my mom was there. I added that it was always sunny, that they have lots of parties and that it was generally an awesome place to hang out.

So. What was our ceremony? I flushed the now fully brown and rotting Anthony down the crapper and sang Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Oh yes I did. And he sobbed and I sobbed. All for a fish that neither of us particularly cared for.

But one that we’re racing to replace tomorrow. Ah circle of life. You are a bitch.