Same old, same old – thoughts on long marriages

I heard a woman say the most amazing thing about the key to a long marriage the other day.

“If I spent the rest of my life backpacking through Africa, I would still have so much to discover” Joy Williams

This from a new song she recorded called Same Old Same Old~

‘Same Old Same Old,’ to me, represents the ache of monogamy. This isn’t an ‘I’m leaving you’ song. It’s a vulnerable confession of ‘I don’t want to leave. I want to work on this – with you.’ Having said that, someone once told me a story about long term relationships. To think of them as a continent to explore. I could spend a lifetime backpacking through Africa, and I would still never know all there is to know about that continent. To stay the course, to stay intentional, to stay curious and connected – that’s the heart of it. But it’s so easy to lose track of the trail, to get tired, to want to give up, or to want a new adventure. It can be so easy to lose sight of the goodness and mystery within the person sitting right in front of you. That continent idea inspires me, and makes the ache (when it comes) hurt a little less. To know that it happens to all of us. What I’m realizing now is that sometimes the ‘same old same old’ can actually be rich, worthwhile and a great adventure.”—Joy Williams

She felt that if each of us approached our relationships with the curiosity and spirit of adventure equal to this journey, that our partnerships would be ignited with passion, curiousity, open heartedness. And we would be rewarded with the best relationship available to each of us.

She adds although it  is hard work,  and not for the faint of heart,  it is the key. She says THIS is the real adventure.

What a surprising and fabulous thing to think of monogamy this way, for a change.