(Remote blogging from the Motherlode!)
It’s been a hectic week of teaching and preparing for the Motherlode conference – and, um, taking of the Energizer Baby – but not so hectic that I can’t stress out about six thousand other things.
Stressful thing #5,999: WonderBaby’s first birthday.
What is there to stress about, you ask? Shouldn’t I just be thrilled to be approaching this milestone? Well, I would be simply thrilled, were it not for the fact that I don’t know how to mark this milestone. And as with everything that I do not have answers to, that fact causes me a great deal of stress.
I had long imagined that WonderBaby’s first birthday would be a simple affair: a little tea party, perhaps, or a couple of friends over to toast me on the anniversary of having worked so hard to push her out into the world. The wee WonderBaby, I imagined, wouldn’t have much use for a birthday party, being a small baby and all. And she certainly wouldn’t remember it.
But WonderBaby is not a small baby – she’s a toddler, a very active, social toddler who loves nothing more than to gambol in roomfuls of children. And, in the past two weeks, we’ve been to a few birthday parties (after having missed the very first birthday party that we were invited to!) and I gotta say – I can sorta see the point now. They were rambunctious, joyous affairs, with hordes of screeching children and balloons and music and general chaotic gaiety, and they seemed to capture perfectly the excitement and wonder of the occasion. And at each of these parties, I thought – I need to do this. Not to compete with other mothers, not to accumulate buckets of gifts (most of which would almost certainly end up tucked at the back of a closet within days), but to really celebrate this occasion. And – not least – to have some fun: WonderBaby looooved those parties, loved the energy, the other children, the balloons, the shouting at cakes.
But then I think again (especially when I stop to consider the fact that we live in a tiny house that is perpetually under renovation), and wonder whether a balloon-filled birthday party is really necessary. And if it is, how does one go about such a thing? Does one heed warnings about balloons? Does one let one’s baby have a go at a sugary birthday cake? Do all of the adults get drunk?
What did you all do for your children’s first birthdays? Conventional birthday party, or quiet toasts over cupcakes en famille? And if you went the party route, what did it look like?
We had our party at Gymboree. It was great because it wasn’t too expensive, and we didn’t have to worry about decorating, or space, etc. Activities and space came in one package. The only problem was the air conditioning blew. It was mid-summer. The temperature in there was off the scale! The kids still had a great time, but we were all shvitzing in the heat….I ended up getting ALL my money back so…even better!
Kittenpie – I LOVE your suggestion about setting up different stations – what a fantastic thing to do!!! One of the huge stresses I have at my kids’ parties is that there are always a few kids who just don’t feel like doing whatever activity I have planned. I’m left scrambling trying to find something to entertain them or I end up feeling guilty that not everyone seemed to have a good time. I’m definitely going to try some age-appropriate stations at my next “home” birthday party! Thanks for an absolutely spectacular idea!
I’ma keep it simple kinda gal – we had two small dinner thingummies with family. But if you want to do the party and you think she’ll love it and not be overwhelmed, I say do the party.
If you’re worried about balloons (like I am), use the mylar ones. Sugary cake on a rare occasion never killed anyone, just cut small pieces or go with ice cream cake.
my best handling-masses-of-kids tactic is to just babyproof the hell out of the place and then set up stations for different activities. A crayon corner, a blocks corner, a ball crawl, a book chair, a puzzle table, etc. The kids can wander from one to the other and find fresh activities without you trying to corrall them and engage them all at once. Parents have a better chance of being able to point their child at a new activity and return at least one eye and ear to conversation.
Oh, and no, we didn’t heed the warnings about balloons. What kind of birthday party has no balloons?
We had just immediate family (all adults), plus Penelope and family (Bee and Cakes’ birthdays are just a week apart). They say a rule of thumb for number of kids is their age plus one. There were about 15 people in total.
It was an afternoon party, cocktails and hors d’oevres for the adults, and I made my very first cupcakes for babycakes. I couldn’t resist the urge to decorate. We had lots of good photo ops. Cakes was all about the wrapping paper.
My advice is to keep it simple! And serve alcohol.
Joanne is right, 1st b-days for your first are essential! They are as much about you marking your first anniversary as a mom as they are about the baby. If WonderBaby does well with groups of other kids, take advantage. Invite some of her little pals and their moms, have cake and let them smoosh away!
As for mom, have a bottle of wine and/or coffee/tea…and cake too!
One way to avoid useless gifts, ask people not to bring gifts. The party is a gift! Or have people bring the money they would spend on a gift and donate it to charity or buy one great gift.
First birthday parties are a bit complicated. Ultimately I decided that I needed to mark the occasion because even if they don’t remember, they will delight in the details told to them and they will always cherish the photos.
Balloons and smooshed birthday cake are the best part.
We have the same dilemma as our house is in a constant state of renovation. There are community centers, gyms, boys & girls clubs and special party locations that you can consider. Plus you deserve to celebrate your milestone as a parent for a year! (One year in with the rest of your life to go…)
we usually just have family and close friends for babys first party.always with a really nice cake.and baby usually ended up playing with wrapping paper.anyhow don’t stress it and have lots of fun i’m sure wonderbaby will.
I think a party of some sort is essential for birthday number one – whether it’s just some extra family coming by for cake and presents or a whole slew of kids underfoot! My kids’ first birthday parties are the ones I remember most fondly. Now, that said, I gotta give you a slight warning…being it’s your FIRST birthday party and all. Don’t go into it with rose-colored lenses…if you know what I mean. Go into it with a clear picture of what the realities might be… Wonderbaby may be in a mood. Wonderbaby might not want to play with cake. Wonderbaby might not want to open presents. Wonderbaby may not feel like being around children. Wonderbaby might not smile for the camera. One thing I’ve learned from hosting many, many birthday parties (my kids have had 26 birthday parties between them) they don’t always go smoothly… But, if you go into them with a sense of humour and a readiness for the worst possible scenario – they usually end up being a ton of fun!!! And…often…well worth the migraine;)