So I had this really interesting post all mapped out (in my head, because that’s where I spend most of my time) – on diversity in the Canadian blogosphere, and why the heck does it seem so freaking homogenous? – but then I got distracted.
By THIS.
I know, I know – we’re Canadian. We don’t much get around on different airlines, so if some American airline is chucking nursing women off of flights for quote-unquote indiscreet breastfeeding, then what do we care?
We care because there is no border on discrimination against mothers and babies or, hell, let’s say it, misogyny (because, really, what is any organization that discourages NURSING, for crying out loud, if not misogynist?) Because where one mother is shamed for nursing her child, we are – all of us mothers, regardless of whether we do or do not breastfeed our own children – shamed.
Because so long as North American culture clings to the twisted double standard whereby the skanky cleavage of the Great Silicone-Chested Starlet is revered and the life-giving nipple of the nursing mother abhorred, we all pay the price.
And because it just makes no freaking sense to me at all, and shouldn’t make any sense to you, either, and we must all insist upon some very basic measure of SENSE in the norms, conventions and institutions of our society. (I know that we all have different levels of comfort with the human body. Fine. But petty squeamishness in the face of a natural physiological process should NOT trump any child’s right to care and nurture and the very, very best nutrition. Don’t like titties? Fine. LOOK AWAY.
And don’t even get me started on the words of the ‘spokesperson’ who responded on Delta’s behalf.
They support breastfeeding – so long as it is discreet and does not offend others. [Pause for moment of outrage.] What, may I ask, is INDISCREET breastfeeding? Nursing while hanging upside down and naked from the baggage compartment? Please. The mother was nursing. Look away if you’re scared of tits – your booby issues should not trump the child’s right to care.)
DEEP. BREATH.
I’m angry. We should all be angry. And we should all be shouting that anger from the rooftops. Go to Moms Rising and/or Democracy in Action and sign their petitions. Write about it on your blog. Write your local newspaper. We need yell – LOUD – when this crap happens. So that maybe, maybe, someday, it will stop happening.
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Oh, and? If you’ve got any energy left, you might go check out the Canadian Blog Awards. My blog (Her Bad Mother) is nominated in two categories, Best Personal Blog and Best Family Blog, as are many of your other favourite blogs. Go, peruse, and vote, if you’re so inclined.
ARGH! What is WRONG with these people!? I would also refuse a blanket. Frankly, I’m always mystified by women who CHOOSE to use a blanket. Even when my kids were tiny, like only a few months, they would reach up and yank that blanket away.
Oh, and as for being “discreet”, don’t get me started. I nursed #1 to 20 mths and #2 to 2.5 yrs, and one of the last times I remember nursing #2 was on a bench in front of the penguin enclosure at West Edmonton Mall (very public). She was not feeling well and was very cranky. I’m sure I got a few glances, but WTH – nobody would feel weird giving their cranky toddler a paci or bottle.
Overall, though, I’m sure I’ve had the odd disapproving look, but never a disapproving comment. And I’ve had plenty of positive comments, including a cute one from an old (80-ish) man, who leaned over to look at baby’s face, only to find it firmly latched on to a boob. I expected him to be taken aback, but, he simply smiled and said, “good for you, dear” and went on his way.
Would that more of the world were like him.
That is APPALLING!!!
Interestingly, last week’s The Office dealt with a woman breastfeeding in the workplace. There was a mix of disrespect and fascination. It was hilarious.
I breast fed on the plane…had no choice! I cannot believe that happened. I’m going to email and complain! Thanks for bringing this to our attention.
Wow, punch me in the gut why dontcha? That story just knocked the wind out of me in a big way and I feel like tears are pricking my eyes. Especially because 1) we are planning a VERY long flight in January (to South Africa) with our nursing son who will be nearly 12 months, and you’re so trapped on a plane you can’t really choose a private place if you want to (I promised myself and my son I would NEVER nurse him in a bathroom)… and 2) I’ve pretty much decided to continue breastfeeding when I go back to work and have mostly decided I’ll just do it for as long as he likes and 3) at a recent parenting workshop of weaning and making the decision we talked about the issue of nursing toddlers in public and how my sister has chosen not to nurse her 2 1/2 year old in public because some people think it’s weird to nurse a toddler… and 4) because if someone offered me a blanket I would refuse it, if only because I haven’t figured out how deal with a blanket on top of a squirmy won’t stop moving baby… and 5) If I do nurse him for longer I have already decided that it may not be something I talk about with just anyone… so much to say. I will have to say it on my own blog when I catch my breath. Thank you for sharing this story…
You know, we were in South Burlington, VT last fall for a wedding. We stayed for a week and during that time the only nursing mom I saw was my wife.
One woman actually came up to her as she nursed our daughter on a bench in the middle of a mall and whispered, “Good for you,” in a hushed tone. We thought it was weird at the time, but reading this article it seems to be coming together.
I’m no so sure it’s everyone or everywhere… might just be that area of the US.
Just tossing in $0.02.
Wow – I can’t believe crap like that still happens. I breastfed all of my babies, too, and while I’m aware it made some uncomfortable I can’t imagine being in such a horrible situation. I’m not sure how I would have handled something like that. I probably would have taken the blanket and been totally embarassed. Bravo to that mom for standing up for herself.
Thanks for this. Unbelievable. I’m off to sign petititions.
OK, so I didn’t read this until I wrote my own rant. It remains unfathomable to me that there continue to be frequent reports of such incidents. And while I didn’t use the term misogynist, I think that certainly plays into it–and the misplaced priorities of North American culture. Breastfeeding is hard enough without worrying that the act can force you into the public spotlight.
What I find the most disturbing about this is that someone actually has the right to stop a mother feeding her child in favour of some imagined and/or misplaced discomfort from others. When do mothers get the respect they deserve for nurturing their children?
I nursed my daughter until she was 19mths and found that after she was about 6mths old people increasingly turned away with dissaproval and I found myself going further underground. To be honest, I didn’t even admit to some of my friends that I was still breastfeeding as so many of them had talked about how it seemed “gross” once a child could lift up your shirt or ask for it using words. I bet if this was a small baby the circumstances would have been different.
This is simply discrimination. I admire the mom for refusing the blanket and defending her right to nurture and feed her child. Delta should be ashamed and apologetic, not definsive and self-righteous!
I signed. I emailed. And now I am applauding you for speaking out about it here.
AND I’ll never fly Delta again.
I am hopping mad
After you sign the petition why not deluge Delta with e-mails regarding their bad behavior:
http://www.delta.com/emailus/servlet/EmailUs?cmd=go
catherine that is so unbeleivable!i have breast fed all of my children and i have had people make comments about it to me.just because most men and some women think that our breasts our only sexual objects,we will always have some stupid ignorant person making comments about nursing.maybe people should mind their own business when it comes to breast feeding.