My kid eats kafta. Yup, that’s right, in a Lebanese restaurant: kafta kebabs served in a pita with lettuce, onion, tomato and raita (the sauce). And she wolfed it down. My six year old white-bread, Canadian kid sat down in Aida’s Mediterranean Bistro in the trendy Mission district of Calgary, and ate a whole Kafta sandwich. And when she got tired of fighting with the pita, she put it down on her plate and dug out the kafta to eat with her fork.
Side note: we were lunching with the sweet and delightful Amreen of The Balancing Act on urbanmoms.ca. Sorry we don’t have a pic but I wasn’t thinking straight and didn’t bring a camera. Amreen was on the ball and asked the waitress to snap a shot of us – we’ll get it up either on Losing It or The Balancing Act soon!
Can you believe it?
I don’t know why I feel so proud that my children eat these kinds of things (for those who don’t know, kafta is a kind of meatball made from ground beef or lamb and spices cooked on a kebab skewer). They love marinated flank steak, souvlaki (pork, lamb or chicken) and authentic Mexican food, too. I have a friend who always reminds me, whenever I complain about their behaviour, "you can’t complain. Your kids eat ONIONS!" And I always laugh, but deep down inside I feel a glow of pride.
You see, one of the primary reasons that the Hubster and I began our lifelong quest for weight loss and a healthier lifestyle was to protect our daughters from the pain we know will be their lot if they become overweight or fat children, adolescents and adults. We know, from our own experiences, the pain of being overweight as teenagers and adults, and although our children have always been at healthy weights, we knew that they wouldn’t maintain their childhood skinnyness into adolescence and adulthood if we – their parents – didn’t change our habits. Kids learn by example, folks, we all know this. So when they see Mommy and Daddy polishing off every morsel on their plates and going back for more, they will do the same.
My six-year old reinforced this lesson for me big time a few weeks ago. We went out for dinner to our fave Mexican Place; Salt & Pepper Restaurant in Calgary’s Bowness district. Mom, Dad & Poppa enjoyed our platters so much that we polished off all of it – enchiladas, refried beans, rice, pico de gallo and guacamole. My daughter’s plate was the kiddy version, and was essentially just a smaller version of the adult platter, loaded up with beans, rice and sauces too. I watched as she shoveled it all into her mouth with great determination. Gee, I thought, she must be really hungry! I guess daycamp is taking it out of her.
Then she began to look a little off, and asked me to take her to the washroom. When we got there, she started to cry and said, "I wanted to eat everything on my plate like you guys; it was my dinner challenge; but now my stomach really hurts!" She couldn’t decide if she wanted to poop or barf…in the end she opted for a splash of cool water on her face and a walk around the block to help settle her stomach. She was fine 10 minutes later, but the episode is etched permanently on my mind. I made sure to have a few good chats with her about listening to your body and stopping eating when you’re full even if the food tastes really good. And I’ve been very conscious of the example I set for my kids since; I try to take a break mid-way through meals just to assess my physical satiety, and I remember to leave something on my plate. I’ve taken to occasionally asking to take home leftovers from restaurants, to show my girls that stopping when you’re full doesn’t mean you have to give up your delicious meal. Instead, you can save the leftovers for a second special meal or snack later and extend the enjoyment, instead of squandering it by stuffing yourself and ending up sick.
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You know, childhood obesity is a real bugaboo for me. I hate it. I think it’s a crime. I think the children are 100% the innocent victims and it’s unfair and – yes – I think it’s the parents’ fault. Tragically, many parents don’t have the socio-economic tools to know that it’s their fault, or how to change. GOD, we all know how difficult parenting is, and how easy it can be to get into the bribery game with our kids. And actually, bribery is sometimes known by another name…rewards…and can be an effective parenting tool. Except not when the object of the reward is cookies. Or chips. Or french fries.
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Look, I’m an educated, professional woman and a mother of two. I think about most of the parenting choices I make. I inform myself through research, resources in the community and talking with other parents, about my job (the most important job) as a mother. How can I give my children the best possible start in life? How can I keep them healthy and prevent disease? We all know you can’t eliminate accidents or illness, but childhood obesity is an epidemic and it is a preventable epidemic.
What we know about childhood obesity (from a StatsCan study):
Low income is a factor in obesity. This one makes sense…I know from my own experience that our grocery bills increased between 5-15% on average when the Hubster and I started Weight Watchers. Fresh produce, quality cuts of lean meat and high quality lower-fat snacks are more expensive than cases of Kraft Dinner, Hamburger Helper and the budget-lover’s 30g fat/serving Ramen Noodles. And imagine you’re on welfare and you only get your cheque once a month…you pay rent and utilities first, and whatever’s left over has to cover food and transportation for the rest of the month. There are no fresh fruits or vegetables that will stay fresh for an entire month. Period.
View photo More obese children inactive. This makes sense as well. Ironically, we hear a lot about kids being over-programmed (e.g. too much soccer, dance, hockey, swimming lessons), but on the other hand, we see from studies that they are becoming more and more sedentary. Why? Are we just too afraid to let our kids run around in the ‘hood the way we used to as kids (remember when your curfew was measured by the streetlights turning on)? Or is it a case of one cancelling out the other? Is there a group of hyper-programmed kids who are physically but not emotionally healthy and then another group of kids who are not stressed out but are fat?
And what, you ask (and I, the queen of tangents, ask as well) does all of this have to do with eating Kafta? Well, the way I see it is that one of the parenting choices that I and the Hubster have made is to expose our children to a wide variety of different foods and tastes, to help them learn to appreciate food for its nutritional value as well as for the wide variety of subtle sensory experiences it can offer, instead of just offering up the same old chicken fingers and wonderbread sandwiches and forcing our kids to finish what’s on their plates. And it’s an important reminder to me, too, not to fall back into the old habits that got me overweight in the first place.
Here’s to us staying slim forever!
Michelle says
Further to our obesity discussion, I came across this article and thought some of you might be interested in it:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn12465-some-of-us-really-are-addicted-to-food.html
Michelle
Maria says
On a lighter note my 1 year old loves humous, feta cheese, and tzatziki (Greek yogourt dip) – LOL – and has loved all those for a while now. A 1 year old with garlic breath, that’s my boy!
Seriously, I really enjoyed your post today, made me really think, as I was also a chubby kid, lost the baby fat & was an average teen, and have now been battling these 20 extra pounds I put on since my late 20’s & my 2 pregnancies. My dad is overweight with type 2 diabetes & I am scared to death of ending up with that. I make a real effort to eat well & hope to set that example for my kids also.
kirsten says
Very interesting considering I am obsessed with my children’s nutrition! My 2 year old loves tofu, curry, salsa veggies…anything ethnic really. Nice to hear someone elses kid eats so well too!
Jen says
I saw a program on TLC (the name escapes me) about childhood obesity and its impact on early on-set puberty. There are many theories on this from a higher percentage of body fat triggering hormones to hormones and chemicals in food. I bring this up because I think Michelle is totally on to something. There is a missing piece, too many strange coincidences.
I wholeheartedly agree that there are some kids who are fat because they eat too much and don’t move enough and their parents don’t have the know how or simply the interest to do anything about it but then there is Michelle’s #3. It just doesn’t seem possible that it can be that simple in every case. Maybe some bodies react to certain preservatives/chemicals/environmental toxins by slowing their metabolism? A totally random-in-no-way-fact-based theory but something is off if you ask me.
On the other hand, my kids are probably what others on the outside would consider “over programmed” or “high energy”. My 8 year old son is OBSESSED with sports and his 4.5 year old sister’s goal is to be like him. He plays sports or practices even alone in his spare time. You can NOT stop this kid.
He plays competitive soccer and hockey, he finished at the top at the city cross country meet, he ran on his school relay team, he could play tennis endlessly with his dad, he skis from when the lift opens until it closes, he is a committed swimmer…OBSESSED. He also eats like a pig and is as thin as a stick. Sometimes, you end up with a child at the extreme and you have no control over this. My son is most happy when he is playing sports. I didn’t do this to him or for him, he decided. I know that other parents must think we are the ones obsessed, pushing him into this but often we are begging him to take a break so that we can!
Therefore, it only makes sense that in some cases, there is the kid on the lower end of the energy scale. By no fault of his/her own or his/her parents. I am not saying this means throw your arms in the air and give up but just like I can’t change the way my guy is (we work VERY hard to build in any form of down time) this would have to be true on the other side of the spectrum as well.
GREAT post Kath! Very thought provoking.
LoriD says
Wow – hot topic… who knew? Wanted to comment that I heard a similar thing about chicken, but it was an explanation for why young girls “developed” earlier and larger than back in the day. Hmmm.
Katherine Murray says
Hi Michelle. No, thank YOU for your response, LOL. 🙂
A-ny-way…interesting you bring up baby formula and meat. There is already a well-documented link between artificial baby formula and overweight in children. Breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight as children/adolescents/adults. I won’t say more, because I KNOW how emotionally charged the breast/bottle topic is.
As for meat, one of my friends is fond of saying “they must be feeding them a lot of chicken” when she sees kids who are way taller than their peers (we had one on our soccer team this year – he was a full 12″ taller than the other grade ones!) She read SOMEWHERE (don’t ask me where, and she’s out of town so I can’t ask her myself) that chickens are pumped full of hormones to get them to grow those amazingly plump breasts that we all clamor over in the supermarket. I did some research and I know in Canada farmers are allowed to give their cows antibiotics but NOT hormones (not the case in the US, though so don’t drink the milk there, LOL). But I couldn’t find out the facts on chicken.
Verrrry interesting.
Michelle says
Thanks for your response, Kath.
I think the main point of my post was that I think we’re missing something really important in this obesity epidemic…but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I really wonder if it’s all as simple as lifestyle choices and hereditary factors (which I would ascribe to inherited infections more often than genetic coding–but I’m not a doctor). To me, if that were the case, then probably most children would be overweight. I’m wondering if there’s a hidden culprit that we haven’t identified yet. I know there are the “special cases” where kids are overweight due to an identified medical issue and that’s not what I’m talking about. I guess I wondering about whether it’s something in baby formulas or our milk or our meat, or something like that; something that the researchers may not have clued in on. Perhaps something in the vaccinations or somewhere in our environments. **I don’t specifically suspect any of the examples I provided…just trying to point out that it could really be anything that we take for granted as being benign.** I guess I’m thinking that we’re trying to put a puzzle together but we’re missing some important pieces. And perhaps the obesity is evidence of how unhealthy our society actually is….our bodies are just not working properly anymore. Yikes, now I am really sounding pessimistic!
I wholeheartedly agree with your last paragraph. We must behave that way in all aspects of our parenting and there are definitely people who are conscious of this and, sadly, others who are not. It sounds like your children lucked out in the parenting department 🙂 Keep up the great work!
Kath says
Firstly, Ali, no I haven’t seen Shaq’s show…sounds fun, though. I do remember liking Shaq back in the day.
Secondly, Michelle, thank you for your comment. Of course there’s not a single cause, and I do know that it is not always the parents’ fault. There are any number of underlying medical conditions that can contribute to overweight, but I don’t think that explains away the numbers entirely. It certainly doesn’t address the socioeconomic aspect of childhood obesity which is borne out by research.
Many parents of overweight kids go through hell trying to figure out why and what they can do to help. But others don’t. And that’s who I’m talking about here when I say “it’s the parents’ fault”.
And as for taking credit for my thin children, well, my husband and I were both overweight for most of our lives, so our kids do have a geneitc predisposition to overweight. But as with everything in parenting, our children will have the final say. The best we can do is set a good example (which was the main point I was trying to make here) and provide them with good choices.
Michelle says
While I’m sure that there are some obese children who are that way solely due to poor food choices (ie fast food), I don’t know that the cause is that simple. The reason I started thinking about this was that out of my four children, three are very slim and one (my third, and the only boy) is overweight.
My son has never seemed to have the energy that the other children do and therefore is less active; however, he is not low energy BECAUSE he is overweight, but rather the low energy coupled with food cravings (due to allergies? due to pre-existing conditions/infections? metabolic syndrome?) is CAUSING his overweight. To study these children and say that they’re overweight merely due to poor choices ignores the initial conditions that may have led them down this path. It’s obvious that whatever the cause, they DO need to be active and eat healthy, but I have found that even though my son is in several activities (gymnastics, karate, soccer, swimming, and more), he is not losing the extra weight. I suspect he is not unique. BTW, we never frequent fast food restaurants. I think there is an underlying cause (or causes) and to blame/judge (for lack of a better word) the children or the parents really adds stress to their lives and that energy might be better spent on identifying the initial cause(s) of the problem. This issue reminds me of how the popular opinion used to be that autism was caused by poor mothering/lack of bonding. We now know that isn’t the case but those poor mothers must have REALLY suffered!
One last thing: it’s easy to say that you’re doing a great job with your children because they’re not obese, but if they don’t have the initial physical issues that would lead them to be that way, then how much of a great thing is it? So I’m a great mom because three of my children are slim but I’m criminal because my son isn’t? If my son was my only child, then I would be harshly judged; however if my daughters were my only children, then I would be celebrated because we’re healthy and fit. The answers are not so simple.
Ali says
hey Kath, have you been watching Shaq’s big challenge? it’s a GREAT show. all about his efforts to try to eliminate childhood obesity. i’m obsessed with the show. i think it’s great
LG says
Hey Kath,
Thanks for your comments and for taking down the pictures. I guess I just wonder if things are getting worse rather than better, socially, for kids who are overweight, due to all the media surrounding the topic lately. I especially agree with the last sentence of your comment – about working out a way to use food for it’s intended purpose and helping our kids do the same.
Kath says
LG, I went and read the blog article you referred to, and I can see how an obese child seeing these images might feel worse about themselves. Granted, I didn’t think too many children would be seeking out my blog, but it certainly COULD happen, so I’ve made the images hyperlinks. To see the pictures, users now have to actually click on the link. That said, however, I wonder if the picture of the over-skinny adolescent girl on the blog you refer to might exacerbate the problem she’s writing about – namely eating disorders in young women fueled by the hysteria about obesity?
I certainly don’t want to fuel any general hysteria driven by the greed of corporations – still, I can’t help but think that there is an even bigger industry fueling obesity (in children and adults) than there is fueling the fight against it. The author of the blog you refer to cites research showing obesity rates haven’t grown in the US, but the study I cite above shows that childhood obesity continues to grow in Canada, and over 50% of children studied in Canada had been obese at one point in their lives.
I know, from personal experience, the pain of being overweight – and it’s SUCH a public thing. I’ve said it before, but many other issues can be hidden (to a degree) – overweight can’t. Everyone who looks at you knows you’re out of control when it comes to food. And I also know the very private pain of eating disorders. But talking about one really doesn’t cause the other. They’re two sides of the same coin. We HAVE to work out a way to use food for its intended purpose, and to help others in our culture do the same.
LG says
I think it’s great that you’re giving your kids choices and helping them to know hunger and fullness. But after reading this article (http:junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2007/07/real-tragedy.html), I wonder if the pictures you posted are helping fight or exacerbate any bad feelings obese children might feel – feelings that might lead to disordered eating. If I was a little kid and that was my picture up there, I would feel like something was wrong with me because of my weight. We need kids to feel accepted at whatever size they are, while still focusing on giving them a ton of healthy choices.
Margot says
There was an article in the LA Times a while back about the ratio of fast food joints to grocery stores in the suburbs vs the inner city. Not surprisingly the inner city had an alarming number of fast food joints & very few grocery stores. So not only do the people who live in the inner city often have less money to buy the more expensive/healthy food choices, they have to go farther out of their way to find it. But the 540 cal & 29 g of fat Big Mac (not to mention the 570 cal & 30 g of fat in a large fry) is right around the corner, & cheap, comparatively speaking, when you want to feed a whole family. The big fast food companies know this & it is disgusting that they specifically target these communities en masse. Childhood obesity is an epidemic in the US (I would hazard a guess in Canada as well) & should be given the resources, as such, to fight it. (Stepping both feet down from soap-box)
Kudos to you Kath (& Hubster too), for consciously setting the example for your children about food (& activity for that matter), so they will be armed with these skills for the rest of their lives.