YES! The BACHELOR, GOSSIP!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness I have this blog to EXPRESS my utter EXCITEMENT that JACK (from Young and the Restless) pulled it off! He bought Jabot! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Jack is House of Kim! YES YES YES YES YES! WHEW! AHHH…SIGH….sigh….sigh. Haaaaaa! I’m not even a Jack fan! I’m a guilty Glo fan. But, she totally gets on my nerves now. So YESSSSSSSS! WOOOOWOOOO! SIGH….Sigh….sigh…..ahhh….Okay, I’m good now. So CHECK IT!

THE BACHELOR

I starved all day yesterday. Fasted for the Jewish High Holiday Yom Kippur. It was brutal. I was nauseous, dizzy and horribly headachy (I wrote all about how brutal a time of it I had over here.) When it was finally time to eat, I ate and ate…and ate. Only the
headache and nausea didn’t go away.

So, when I got home from the breaking-of-the-fast feast, I crashed on the couch to watch the 2-hour premiere of The Bachelor. It’s as good as any medication, right? Take my aching mind off things, to Rome….But, watching it didn’t make me feel better. Actually, it made me feel a little bothered.

The thing is, this bachelor, Lorenzo Borghese, is just
not doing it for me. At first, as the women started stepping out of the
limo to meet him, he was sweet and nervous and shy. But, as they kept
coming, he very obviously loosened up, and got annoyingly cocky, and a bit nerdy! The conversations became awkward and clearly uncomfortable for the girls. But, I’ll give him a chance. He’ll get better, I’m
sure. With some editing, the show will manage to convince me to like
him. Plus, judging from the preview of what’s to come, he looks a little hotter in casual clothes than he does in a suit.

Best duhhhhh moment: "Let’s go hug a tree!" — not looking good. They
really should have edited that one out….There’s no coming back from
that one….But, the girl he said this to ended up with the first rose and the diamond earrings….

Also, is it me? Or did you feel like you were
watching the Miss America pageant as the women were introducing
themselves to him. "Ha, ahm Georgia from Texas, love yohr eyes…"; "I’m from Canada, eh? How’d you guess, eh?"  But, all this cheese and fluff is why we I love The Bachelor. Gotta love all this cattiness, cheesiness and fantasy.  Great escape. Who will be the next "real life princess!?" Hah!

Not as good as America’s Next Top Model, of course, though!

GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP!

ESQUIRE‘S SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE IS….

Of course, Scarlett Johansson! But, she’s Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip’s Sexiest Woman Alive. Y’all saw it here first! (I know, I know, by the way, this photo is the cover InStyle Magazine, not Esquire. Can’t find the Esquire one yet.)

CHINSAY LOHAN

Photo c/o X17 Online.

Okay, a lot of the intergossips are talking about these chins on Lindsay Lohan. I’m not gonna. I’d rather see chins than skin and bones. Besides, it’s clearly just a bad picture. This girl’s a stick. The only thing I’d say is "dye your hair red again, please, Lindsay? We misses the sweet red-headed girl….Enough with this Britney-style black, long mop already!" Am I the only one who HATES the dark hair on her?

HEIDI KLUM IN FULL BLOOM….

Photo c/o X17 Online.

About to pop any minute now and looks radiant. HATE! Kidding. LOVE! Here she is looking très gorj in the playground.

MISCHA MISCHA MISCHA!

Photo c/o Splash News Online.

In a very bold fashion statement, Mischa lets us all know that she wants us to "drop knowledge not bombs." Talk about bombs….Skirt….’Nuff said.

CALLING ALL JUDE LOVERS…!

Photo c/o Splash News Online.

Here’s (presumably) what Jude Law looks like after sex….In case you were wondering….

Cool deets: In the November 2006 issue of GQ, Jude talks about how he’s dealt with cheating on Sienna: “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But you can’t run away. You have to take
it on the chin and learn somehow to hold your head up high and face up
to it… You can’t spend your life apologising. You can hold you hands up
and say ‘I *****d up.’ You can do everything in your power to make that
pain better… It feels like the cards are settling and I’m getting a
sense of calm in personal and public life. So things are good… I see
myself for what I am – a dad and an actor. Those are two very harsh,
big truths.” (qtd. by Just Jared).

TORI SPELLING = PREGGERS

Photo c/o PerezHilton.com.

Tori Spelling is officially preggers. Cute!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUVAH!

Photo c/o Just Jared.

Today, October 3rd, is Clive’s birthday. Join me in wishing my LUVAH a happy birthday. Sigh. LOVE…. There’s a massive poster for The Inside Man DVD (see pic below) hanging in the window of my favourite Indigo. Everytime I pass it, I salivate and think to myself (very audibly): "Oooooo Cliiiiiive!" No kidding.

Oooooo, Cliiiiiiive…..He’s 42 today. And, here’s what George Clooney says about my man in the upcoming Vanity Fair Magazine: “[Clive Owen
is] the big find in the past two or three years. I think he’s a movie
star. He’s, like, a man — there’s a sexuality and a masculinity that I
think is really interesting.” (Qtd. by Just Jared). I couldn’t have said it better myself!

So, tell me, pretty people, what did YOU think of The Bachelor? of Lorenzo? Are you happy that Jack got Jabot back?!? ECSTATIC! You also must say Happy Birthday to Clive, because you know he reads this (of course…!) What else, what else. Talk to me! What’s on your mind?

And, come visit me over at The Cheaty Monkey. There are pictures of the high-chair hell I’m living in at mealtime….Come take pity on me….

xo Haley-O