Hi Gorgeouses,
The hubby just got back from partying in Vegas (since WEDNESDAY). Poor thing — he’s TIRED. Ahem. Don’t you love that? A-NY-WAY. On tap today (from yours truly — a LEGITIMATELY TIRED-OUT mama): Britney’s prepping for secret concert…; Alyson Hannigan’s hubby’s cute; Angelina Jolie is SKIN-NY!; Nicole Ritchie also is SKIN-NY; and (as the monkey says…) MOAH MOAH MOAH!
check it!!!
ANGELINA JOLIE OUT AND ABOUT AND LOOKING SKIN-NY!
Oy veh. She’s not looking so good. Still gorj, obviously. But, all skin and bones. I know, I know, it’s more important for me to talk about her recent role in the launch of Global Action for Children. So, I’ll say "YOU GO GIRL." How was that? Look how SKINNY!!! Oh, and, I did find out that Ange isn’t sick with some mysterious illness, as the tabloids are saying. Nope. Just not eating enough and chasing the toddlers all the time — hey, I CHASE that cheaty little monkey NON-STOP, and I do NOT look anything like that! Whatevs. She says she’s trying to eat more and fix this. Poor thing has to go and eat more…. Such problems….
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News.
NICOLE RITCHIE — ALSO SKIN-NY
Omigosh, WRISTS!!! But, check THIS:
TEENY TINY! Listen to me obsessing about celeb weight today. But, this is, like, not human-like. It’s bizarre. She has a little more meat on her arms than she used to. But, she still looks unnaturally skinny. Nice purse, though. It’s bigger than her, but still nice. She could totally carry her whole self in that, whad’ya know!
SCARLETT JOHANSSON TRIES HER HAT IN SINGING….
Here’s Scarlett duetting it up with Jesus & Mary Chain (whoever they are…). I’ll be the first to say this is NOT the best look for her. What’s with the Britneyish hat and the Parisish/Mischaish short-short dress? EW! She’s still my celebrity girl-crush, though. I just SO wish she’d STEP AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONE! and stick to being the sexy cool girl in movies.
CALLING ALL BUFFY FANS…
CUTE! Alyson Hannigan and her hubby are in Hawaii…dreamy Hawaii. Who wouldn’t feel all lovey like this in Hawaii. I wanna be in Hawaii right now. With a virgin pina colada….can you smell the ocean…? feel the sand under your feet? Mmmmm….Wish….Love….
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash News.
BRITNEY SPEARS SECRET UPCOMING PERFORMANCE, AND…I LOVE YOU SEAN PRESTON FEDERLINE!!!
OY OY OY OY OY! I LOVE YOU SEAN PRESTON FEDERLINE!!! Look how cute, Gorgeouses! Oy! Cheeks! Oh, and, if you look closely, you can see little Jayden James’s hand sticking out of that infant carseat OMIGOSH (click the photo to make bigger)!
Oy oy oy! There he is again! And, he’s loving his mama….
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.
She DOTH look hot, though, doesn’t she. Look at that bod. (Ugh, I KNOWWWW…there are those same uggers boots again.) But, who dresses like that? I know she’s off to rehearse. But, seriously…: fishnets and boots and short-shorts…in public? I don’t care if you’re Britney Spears…. It’s a little much. But, we all know what this is all about. It’s about calling the paps to tell them where you’re at. And, making sure you look as TIGHT as possible so K-Fed and the world can see. While you’re at it, bring the kiddies to show that you’re not neglecting them in your race back to pop stardom….
Speaking of which…. The race officially begins, rumour has it, at LA’s House of Blues on Thursday, May 3rd….
It’s top secret, Gorgeouses…. That’s why it says "M+Ms" where it should really read "BRITNEY’S OFFICIAL COMEBACK DEBUT." I’ll keep you posted, ‘course.
Next post, I’ll bring the scoop on Brit’s new tell-all book that’s in the works. (Between the book and the comeback preps, how does she have ANY time for the kids? Good thing ol’ Kev stepped up to the plate…heh.) Apparently, the book is ALL about how she’s so innocent. It’s all Justin’s fault, Kevin’s, and, YUP, her MOM’S!.
Have you voted yet? Thank you, Gorgeouses! Now, CLICK IT and press the GOLDEN "VOTE" BUTTON!:
So, I got an email from Jen — you all know Jen…Urbanmoms founder Jen. She said some Gorgeouses want some ROYALS GOSSIP. Now, if these Gorgeouses had come right to moi, say, via email or COMMENTS, they’d have their cheaty little Royal Gossip today. But, they didn’t, so I’m going to assume it’s not urgent. Cuz, Gorgeouses, that’s A LOHOTTTTT of work for little ole me — know why? Because I don’t know A THING about what’s going on among the royal Brits — that is, unless you want to call the Beckhams royal Brits…. I’ve never had much interest in them, to be honest. But, I have been doing my homework, and there is some cheaty scoop there. I mean, that Prince William dude is pretty hott…. ANYHOO, you Gorgeouses who want that Royal Gossip (who want to MAKE ME WORK) SHOW THYSELVES! Come out and BEG for it! Hee! Kidding. I’ll get you your gossip because I’m that nice. And, erm, because I WUV YOU! Just show me the love back AND TALK TO ME! I want your requests in my mailbox, in my comments, kay? LOVE LOVE LOVE! xoxo
Now, go check The Cheaty Monkey, and, if you like me, vote for me — I’m up for "Hottest Mommy Blogger" (you can vote here), and "Best Parenting Blog." (vote here!). And, if you haven’t voted for your favourite Cheaty Gossip site yet, GET ON THAT PRONTO (see button above)!
xoxo Haley-O!
ERNALOU — They’d be aiight without the fishnets and short-shorts!!! 😉 xo
TUGGY — PLEASE do as you say and GO DRESS BRITNEY!!! PLEASE!
OMG. I’m about to move to CA & kidnap Britney just to dress her…& I’m NOT a fashionista by ANY means. Scarlett? eww. And yeah, Ang has been way too skinny for too long, & Nicole looks used & abused.
I have those boots! They aren’t so bad in real life.
LD — I know, I’m very disappointed in Scarlett’s legs… THANK you for the Brit goss. site! I’ll definitely check it.
JEN — I’ve been searching and searching for that naked pic, but I can’t find it. I wish I never saw it, though. Harry Potter will never be the same, and, worse, THE DUDE’S ONLY 17!! I didn’t realize!!!
DAYN — I know, SEAN is always dressed to the tee! He has a better stylist than Brit does, obviously!
LAV — Cellulite BAD; But, pasty, not so bad. I’m pasty and I’m fine with it — better than fake tanning and unhealthy stuff like that. Think Nicole Kidman! And, think: DO NOT WEAR SHORT DRESSES WHEN YOU HAVE WHITE THIGHS AND CELLULITE!!!
wow angelina is way too skinny.and nicole always too skinny.ew.scarlett j. has more cellulite on her legs than i do!and talk about white.yuck.scarlett give mischa her shirt back.alyson and her hubby look so cute.didn’t recognize(willow) alyson with out her red hair.sean preston is the cutest baby.
Oh Britney.. At least you dress your baby cute:)
I am interested in the Royal Gossip but, sickeningly, more interested in where you saw a pic of Daniel Radcliffe’s MASSIVE PENIS!?
The whole Brit thing is just nauseating.
PS – I meant Brit as in British for the gossip and Brit as in Britney for the looking good.
(It’s MOnday)
For the Brit gossip you need to check out Hello! magazine (not the Canadian one) and this website: http://www.thesun.co.uk/
Hope that helps a bit. (not really my thing, but ya know … I have my reasons)
Scarlett’s outfit – TERRIBLE. She’s hot but her legs looked all cellulitely. Ick.
And, she should not sing. Act.
Brit looks really good. Jealous!
LISA — I knowwwww!
KATH — Yeah, Posh and Becks are LA gossip now, indeed. And, like the BRIT ROYALS, they BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRE ME! I’ll check out some Harry Potter gossip. But, DUDE, I fully just saw a pic of his MASSIVE PENIS (you know, in that play Equus or something?). So, no gossip about him for a while….
Britney is looking GOOD!
I would love a little insider info on why Prince Will and his beautiful Kate split up just as everyone thought they were going to get married ???
Oh, and while you’re at it, a little Harry Potter gossip would not come amiss (new book AND new movie this summer – who can handle it all?).
As for Bekham and Posh…meh. That’s not Brit gossip anymore, that’s LA gossip.