Hi Gorgeouses!
Some different peeps today — because I’m getting bored again of the same-old-same-old paparazzi girls. Today we got HEIDI MONTAG’S NEW NOSE AND BREASTS, Pamela Anderson revisiting her famous red full-piece, Ali Larter drinking vitamin juice (funny!), Nick Lachey disappointing Vanessa Minnillo with DIAMONDS (wha?), J-Lo and Marc Anthony in a movie together???, and MORE!
check it!!!!!
HEIDI MONTAG’S NEW BOD
Man, this is (as expected) disappointing. The only thing that The Hills‘ Heidi Montag needs now is a YUGE poster on her FOREHEAD stating the obvious: "SPENCER MADE ME DO IT." She was sooo much cuter with her natural nose and boobs. Sad.
Photos, with thanks, c/o Us Weekly.
PAMELA ANDERSON DUSTS OFF THE OLE RED SUIT FOR A TV COMMERCIAL
I’ll have what she’s having (except anything surgical, erm…) because she looks AWESOME. She’s turning 40 in July, and look at her, Gorgeouses!
Photos, with thanks, c/o Flynet.
HOW ALI LARTER STAYS SO GORJ
Hee! It’s tough staying gorj, isn’t it, Ali! Here she is sipping an obviously GNARLY vitamin drink from Green Earth Vitamins. Blech! Check the close-up:
Hee! CLASSIC!
BEYONCE: DO WE LIKE THIS DRESS?
We might like it on someone else…. Bee just LOVES to wear ridiculously booty-enhancing clothes, doesn’t she?! And, what makes her think those shoes go AT ALL with that dress? I still maintain that Beyonce is one of the worst celebrity dressers — for different reasons than Lindsay and Mischa. I cannot believe I forgot to put her on my 13-Celebrities-Who-Desperately-Need-to-Hire-Jennifer-Aniston’s-Stylist-Pronto list!
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News.
BORING GOSSIP ABOUT THE MOST BORING COUPLE IN HOLLYWOOD
Ho-hum…. Yawn. Rumour has it Vanessa Minnillo is a wee bit disappointed in her live-in boyfriend Nick Lachey because he bought her YUMONGOUS $40,000 diamond earrings instead of the YUMONGOUS diamond ring she was hoping for. She’s ready; he’s not. Whatevs. Yawn boredom.
HUGH GRANT ARRESTED FOR BEAN INCIDENT
Yeah, that’s a pic of Hugh and the beans…. He hurled them at a photog after kicking the photog’s arse (also above). He’s been arrested and released on bail already. He’s scheduled to appear in court May 5th. Arrested for beans. Now, I’ve heard everything.
JENNIFER LOPEZ AND MARC ANTHONY IN MOVIE TOGETHER
Didn’t J-Lo learn ANYTHING from "Bennifer"? Gigli…? Jersey Girl…? Anyone…? Anyone…? Now, she’s doin’ it with Marc. There’s NO way I’m going to pay money to see those two making out on screen. Freaking EW. Here’s the trailor (it’s free, so…):
PARIS TEASES KITTENS
(this piece is written by my research assistant, Minden)
Paris went to a pet store and cuddled with the little black kitten as she perused the aisles. And, then she left him there. But, she should have gone home with the kitten! My mommy cuddled with me, and THEN SHE TOOK ME HOME! Purrrrrr…. It’s okay, though, Gorgeouses. Kitten’s happy she didn’t buy him. Kitten would rather be living in teeny cage at pet store than become another one of Paris’s accessories. I want that snuggly blue blankie, Mommy. Can you buy it for me? Love!? I love my mommy and myself soooo much. Meow.
Photo, with thanks, c/o Buzzfoto.
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER CELEBRITY DUI
Congratulations, Eve. I hate you now. DUIs are for DUMMIES, biatch. MADD.
In case anyone cares, Sean Penn visited the crying Eve in the slammer.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S WAX FIGURE
Justin’s wax figure — newly unveiled at London’s Madame Tussauds — is way hotter than he is…. Bummer. Sexy back.
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News.
Have you voted yet? (Thank you!):
So, no update on America’s Next Top Model. It was one of those boring never-before-seen-clips shows. Borrring. The best part of it, though, was when Renee and Dionne were fighting. Hee! Too funny. Classic ANTM moment.
The Y&R: If Colleen says "Musee de Renaud" one more time in that HORRIBLY TERRIBLE French accent, I’m going to vomit. How FREAKING hard is it to say "Renaud" without sounding like you have a HORKING problem!?
What did you think of Minden’s piece on Paris Hilton? He’d love your feedback. (He was really excited about writing, so be really really nice to him in the comments…. Don’t tell him I said this….)
Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey!
Hey Haley,
How come everyone is so forgiving of Sharon and Phyllis is getting more of a bad rap for the blackmail than Sharon is for the deed. And what’s with the totally fake Daniel and his porn story. Ouch!
PS – Any news on my nemesis, Devilina Jolie?
Yes, Colleen must be banned from saying anything remotely French. At first I thought I was hearing it wrong, but then I realized it does sound like she is gagging every time she says it. So funny. Y&R has been good lately though, lots of dysfunction.
Minden you are fab..tell Mommy to buy you the blanket pronto.
I agree…Heidi looked SOOO much better before. Kind of like Ashlee Simpson, I preferred her pre-plastic surgery!
~Oh my gosh, I hate to say I hate again, but I’m a huge Heidi Hater!! Can’t stand the way she lied to LO all the time!
I think she looks horrible now. I liked her pre-surgery nose, and is it just me, or are her nipples crooked? The left one (facing us) is lower than the right one, right?
~To Minden: I agree that was mean of Paris, but yes, I wouldn’t want to go home with her, either! But I think the reason your mommy brought you home is because you’re the most adorable kitty and even Paris wouldn’t be able to resist you! I’ll put in a word with your mommy on the blue blankie. 😉
I love Minden’s commentary. Love it. Smart cat – no little kitten wants to go home with Paris. Total accessory. Awwww … I’d love a kitten.
Eve totally annoys me. I used to think she was totally cool. Now not so much.
But the best of all of this was the bean incident. That cracks me up. Do you keep beans in your fridge to throw at the paparrazzi. Ummm … wait – I’ve seen inside your fridge. Either you don’t – or you’ve already thrown them at the paparazzi and no one knows yet.
Wow. That was a dumb comment. It’s so Friday afternoon.
I’m with you, Haley. Eve sucks.
Jennifer and Marc?? BARFORAMA! I will NEVER see that film…yuck. He is so, well, yucky.
hi haley,i don’t know who that heidi chick is but she looked so much better before the surgergies.also don’t know who ali larter is.but the dark stain on her tongue from whatever sourness shes drinkimg looks yucky. i love beyonces dress so cute but not on her and those shoes look so ridiculous with that dress. miaow minden.you’re right that the baby kitty is lucky that he didn’t become another accessory for paris.but that blankie is too adorable.and yes your mommy should buy you one too. stupid celebs driving drunk.no excuse for that.they can pay someone to drive them around.IDJITS!well i’ve been hooked on Y&R again.since dru fell off cliff.wheres her body?did they find her?and whats with all ya brad haters?WHAT DID HE DO THAT WAS SO BAD?also how come victoria being so self righteous when i saw her climbing out of the sack after doing JT?
ALI — I KNOW!!! (On both counts) The gossips are saying it was a matter of a good padded bra…. Maybe she was trying it out? They look flat again, though, don’t they?
oh my god…i want to vomit from Colleen too. but i’m soooo loving Y&R these days.
also..what happened to paris hilton’s new tits??