I’ll be the first to admit that I can be kind of an asshole. I am stubborn and right all the time and I haven’t had enough sleep in ten years.
But I behave myself in public and at work because it is important to be in the world even if you are having the kind of day where the whole world is an idiot. And I recognize that the problem, often, is not external at all … if you encounter five jerks in a day, maybe you need to do some soul-searching, you know?
Been. There.
But on my worst day – my WORST! – I am not as bad as a herd of tweens. (A pack? A school? A murder? What do you call them in large groups other than Annoying?) I know this because I had attempted to have a pleasant evening on a blanket at the beach with some wine and sandwiches, and they were right there, hordes of them, all saying the very worst things anyone has ever said.
“OMG, do you see her letting the boys run after her like that?”
“It’s like she doesn’t even know she’s fat!”
“She knows – why else would she be wearing that T-shirt? It’s to cover all the fat.”
“She doesn’t even have boobs!”
HAHAHA, they cackled. And then the girl rejoined them and they were all best friends again. And I felt sympathy for the girl until I heard her say swears you’re not eligible to say out loud until you’re old enough to drink whisky and they just fall out your mouth by accident. You have to pay admission to be able to use the best swears and she hasn’t spent enough of her youth yet to afford the charges.
Either kids today are worse than anyone who’s ever lived, or I have forgotten what it was like to be twelve, or I have reached the age where I am beginning to rewrite history and as such am remembering the 1990s as a wholesome and innocent time when girls were nice to their friends and no one would ever say the C-word in front of a grown-up.
I guess it’s time to go shake my fist at passersby and yell at them to get off my lawn.
Please tell me the 20 to 40 hellions I encountered at the beach today are an isolated case and that there is still good in the world?
i’m getting a “curmudgeon” t-shirt made with a repeating clint eastwood background pattern. i would never think to swear in front of strange adults. it’s almost like tweens don’t even know what is around them anymore….oblivious to everything! is it because they’re plugged in so much they have forgotten how to take it all in?
i’ve actually called kids out on their language when they’re being so utterly careless around my girls or others’ kids at the park. there are so many words that can be used instead, read a book and use them! …g/d little f’ers….
You should see if you can get a deal if you buy them in bulk – I am going to need one too. I didn’t think to call them out – I worried that they’d turn on me for my wine and snacks and there were no parents nearby, which I suppose is another issue entirely.
Nope, I think they’re pretty ferocious… and though I admit I love letting an acidic string of swears tumble out of my mouth after I’ve had some whiskey, I cringe when I hear scrawny little kids utter them out loud, so carelessly. I know we practised swearing when we were twelve, too, but I’d like to remember us being kinda hushed about it – I mean, there were ADULTS around! Anyway, I blame the world at large just growing more and more casual… there’s no decorum anymore! *shakes angry fist at sky* “And get the hell off my f&$#ing lawn, too!!”
Oh hales yes, I love a good string of swears myself! Dead sober, no less. But I pay income tax and am old enough to know how to use the swears in context, so it’s okay – you and me, we’ve earned the right!
I used to swear all the damn time but never – NEVER! – in front of grown ups. And it’s not like they weren’t cursing up a storm in front of us – that was always allowed, because there are some things adults get to do that kids can’t. It is what makes up for sagging and hangovers.