I read a tweet from a mom trying to figure out how to hire a nanny and Ifelt for her. Every life change in our “parenthood” comes with so many complications. We are so busy
in the day to day business of caring for our kids that these extra tasks can
make life so stressful.
When I went to hire a nanny I looked at agencies
and searched online for tips and suggestions and nothing I found really spoke to
me in a totally practical way. There’s lots of interviewing tips which are useful but the list below seemed to be left out so hopefully you will find it useful 🙂
- Agencies: I am a control freak so in the end I
decided an agency was not the way to go. It is very expensive for one thing, but
my main reason for going it alone is I wanted to be the one conducting the
background checks. What I found out was that hiring a nanny on your own is
extremely difficult. - Vulnerable Sector Screening Program – Doing your own criminal reference
check does not give you the peace of mind I thought it would
bring. Here’s why- in Toronto, a regular “citizen” can not conduct
a vulnerable reference check. Only “organizations” can request do
this with a special application form approved in advance by the Police
Department. What do you get as a regular citizen requesting a nanny to get a
check? You can have your nanny candidate apply for a regular police reference
check. It checks for a “criminal record” but for the “deep” search only comes
from a vulnerable one. So no total peace of mind really. - Setting up an Employee on Payroll – The
hardest thing for me to wrap my head around was the financial stuff. Luckily the
government has a Payroll Deductions Online Calculator and you can call Revenue
Canada to you walk through setting up an employee. Here’s the link to play with
deductions – gross vs. net pay (all nannies want to know what the net pay
will be.) - Cost of a
Live Out Nanny vs. Live In- Nanny prices vary from City to City but in
Toronto where I live the average pay starts on the low end at $10/hr and goes to
$15-16 per hour. Live in nannies are less expensive, but hey they live with you!
Want a nanny who will drive? It costs more. Want a nanny with a car? Yup, that costs
even more! Don’t forget you will want to have the perspective nanny get a
driving abstract too! - Daycare vs. Nanny: Having a nanny is convenient and less stressful then having to do the pick up and drop offs involved with daycare. If you work out duties like meal preparation and laundry
it can really free up your time to be with your kids when you arrive home. It
really is a luxury. But is it cost effective with only one child? Likely not in
my opinion. If you have 2 kids then it seems like having a nanny is a no brainer
but then you have to assume that the nanny is giving the children the attention
and love you want them to get. There are amazing daycares and there are amazing
nannies. Which do you trust more? A lot of people want their children to be in
their home environment, but there are great daycares and babysitters that provide
that too. As your children get older you might be worried about “stimulation” .Where are your children going to receive
the most love? All the other stuff can be learned in good time and not as important. Love and security is the most
important thing for your children- no matter what age.
The Bottom Line:
Choosing a nanny or daycare is an extremely stressful and important decision for
parents. Ask around for referrals to take some of the stress out of it. Get on
those waiting lists early so that you have all options available to
you.
My Situation? Well I hired a nanny and it did not work out. I was
happy that I had a child around who was old enough to tell me what was
happening. For that I thank god. But I have seen some extremely wonderful nanny
situations too. I also had my first son in a great daycare that felt like a
family. So I believe that there are great fits for all families. Just follow your
instincts. Never second guess your intuition. My intuition told me I should stay home for now. That is not proving to be easy. Nothing ever is! But I am happy with my choice. I now have a mother’s helper and a babysitter that I trust and things are working nicely.
These are great tips. I went back to work when my daughter was 10 months old, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her in an infant room. One of the things that were important to us is that she be exposed to the second language in our home on a regular basis so we needed a compromise. Luckily, our cleaning lady was looking for a short term full time nanny job at the same time I needed a short term solution to fill the gap until “the bean” was ready for the toddler room at the daycare that operates in our second language.
The nanny situation worked out so well. I loved that the bean was getting lots of love and stimulation. A secondary benefit was that our nanny was as attentive as I was to the beans body language and she was able to continue putting her on the toilet. The bean started having long dry spells. When the time came to switch her to daycare I was really happy, because she seemed to be hungry for more stimulation.
Let me start by saying I LOVE the daycare and that she is enrolled in – they have a rich program and she is happy to be there. Now for the “BUT”, they pretty much ignored her toilet needs for the first two weeks and pretended I never told them so she was set back about 3 months in a short time. More frustrating is that in the last 6 weeks she’s been home at least 20- 25 days with a high fever and one illness after another.
My husband is self employed, so he defaults to being the one who stays home with her, but it’s not practical. She’s home so frequently that he can’t get on a roll with his work, so now we are considering switching back to a full time nanny, but we are worried that she’ll lose the benefit of being at the daycare and being exposed to the second language (which my husband and his family speak, but me and my family do not).
When you factor in that my husband is potentially losing money as a result of providing supplementary child care, financially a nanny makes more sense. When you look at the benefits she receives from the daycare, then that makes more sense.
What do we do? 🙁 We’re torn – have any thoughts?
This decision is making us crazy. How do other people deal with this problem?