The videos are everywhere – some are hilarious – some are ridiculous.  Will can’t edit a video (thank god) but I’m sure this is what he’d capture if he could….I give you 

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S*&t My Mom Says by Will Lanthier
Do I smell poop?  Did you poo?
Where’s the wine opener?
You know I love you right?  Even when I’m angry?
Take that finger out of your nose!
It’s a looong time till Christmas bud.
Really?  Are you sure that’s how you want to talk to me?
I’m not sure what tarantulas eat or why leopards have bigger heads than cheetahs or why Kermit is on both Sesame Street and the Muppets but Miss Piggy isn’t.
Do you know how much I love you?
I have never been this tired in my life.
You have until the count of three…1 – 2 – do you want me to get to three???
Mommy needs a time out.
Turn it down!
I’m the map, I’m the map, I’m the map, I’m the map. I’m the map.
We’re out of wine?  Get your coat.
We don’t eat nuggets for breakfast.
Wanna know something?  I think you are AMAZING.  I think you are AWESOME.  I think you are INCREDIBLE!  (she says this combo to me at least once a day…yeesh).
Lindsay/Sarah/Kelly/Auntie/Grandpa is babysitting.  Won’t that be so fun??
I don’t want to go to work either but you have to go to daycare.
MODPp0o43oli7^(*&^P@##$j (she says this when her face is in a pillow…I’m not sure what she’s so mad at – it’s only midnight and I just asked for blueberries!)
You are my favourite guy in the entire world.
I have never been this tired in my entire life.  (this one and the wine get repeated quite a few times).
We are a team…me and you!
*Nice of the kid to end on a positive note…What would your kids say you say all the time??)
  • Sara

    okay these are hilarious! Love it!

  • Annabelle

    Stop sitting on your brother’s head
    Get your elbows off the table.
    Stop hitting your brother
    Don’t look at your brother
    Stop yelling
    Who smells like poo?
    When did you last shower?
    Do any of you boys know how to aim?
    Where is the bleach?
    What in the world is in your hair?
    Is this snot on the wall?
    Why did you put your underwear there?
    Are you wearing underwear?
    Did you just poo or is that your hockey bag I smell?

  • Alice

    “Turn around and sit down on your bum” is said faaaaaar too frequently around our house omg.

  • Racheal

    HA HA HA!!!! Love it! The best is when I hear my mother’s words coming out of my mouth -that’s when I know I need a time out…

  • Nancy

    be the ball
    you bring the weather to the picnic
    I feel so alive
    feel the sweat on my back from my spin class/ run
    did you say I don’t look a day over 30
    of course I am not wearing a pantsuit- they are for old people, funerals or people who don’t like their bodies
    I could eat you you are so cute and delicious
    the other moms are jealous because I get to be your mom
    no he is not my boyfriend
    right where you left it
    did you clean out your lunchbag
    my god I have to blog about this – can I Sara?

  • Christine

    “JACKETS! BOOTS! AWAY!”
    “K. I’m leaving without you. G’bye”
    “get dressed”
    “get dressed”
    “get dressed”
    “put the ipod/ipad/laptop away”
    “let me get that booger out of your nose. pleeease?”
    “oh c’mon. who pee’d on the seat??”
    “i can’t drink. i can’t smoke. I sure as hell am not giving up chocolate”
    “You’re my favourite” (insert either: redhead/brownhaired/blonde)

  • Julie

    great list! could almost be mine as well :-) except for all the nice bits…gotta work on getting more of those in! yikes!

  • Anonymous

    This is fantastic!
    I am forever saying “Who smells?” “Did you poop?” “WHY IS THIS FLOOR STICKY?”
    Which pretty much shows you how exciting my life is;)
    (I say the exact, Amazing, Awesome, Incredible combo to my boys too. Because they are!)

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