Written By Sara
Sara is a single mom by choice to an over the top kindergartener, Will. She’s chronicling their ups and downs together and what she’s learning about herself at the same time.Read Her Blog "DIY"
A bunch of mommy bloggers picked up on a Newsweek piece that ran last week about motherhood. Specifically, it dealt with the the eight things that the author’s kid is torturing her with. I loved the article and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I love when mom’s can admit that it ain’t all sunshine and butterflies floating over a rainbow. Frankly, sometimes you get to the pot at the end of the rainbow and it’s filled with a steaming pile of crap.
So, to stand in solidarity, I’d like to add the eight things that I, um, strongly dislike about parenthood and I’d like everyone to be honest and add to the list….come on you know you have something.
1. Being ‘on’ 24 hours a day. Face it, even when you’re sleeping, you’re still ‘on’. Have you truly had a solid sleep since the kid was born? I doubt it. If you have, can you share the drugs please?
2. Wiping other people’s poop. Sorry, I wish I could say it’s my boy and his poop smells like roses, but it doesn’t. And it makes me gag. Still.
3. Temper tantrums. Or bi-polar disorder maybe. Honestly, HONESTLY…do you have to have a full on meltdown because I’m pulling the horrible injustice of trying to put a sock on your foot. Kid, just wait until you see the line up at 40% off day at the Gap, that’ll give you something to yell about.
4. Smiling while people give you advice. Seriously, I will and DO ask when I need it, because a good 90% of the time I’m flying by the seat of my pants. But when the 18 year-old cashier at Shoppers tells me my kid should have a coat on, I’d like it be legal to slap someone across the face like Cher in Moonstruck and yell, ‘snap out of it.’
5. Talking baby talk. There were a few things I vowed when I got knocked up – to not listen to kids music, to introduce the boy to different foods and to not talk baby talk. He bobs along to Dylan and he eats sushi but I’ve become that mother – you know I say everything twice and add that irritating head shake at the end of every sentence. Argh.
6. Not being able to avoid the ‘baby talk’. This is different than #5. When I was a babyless thirtysomething, I used to hate going to parties etc when the majority of attendees were mothers. Now that I have Will, I get that it becomes your life and therefore the central focus of most conversations AND I love talking about Will, obviously. But not always. I don’t like it for me, or for my other friends who don’t have children. Some people don’t want them, some people can’t have them or maybe someone just lost one. You don’t know. And it is possible to not talk about the offspring.
My book club is filled with mothers and we talk about the book, sex, food, sex, travelling, sex…and well you get the point.
**I guarantee that this convo didn’t start like this.. “oh my god and then Will….”
I’m going to stop at 6, because I can’t really come out with any other ones. And lest you think I’m a grump who hates being a mother, I’ll save my top 8 reasons why I love it for Mother’s Day. Because I do, I really and I mean REALLY do.