Hi Gorgeouses,

The monkey’s got a fever. So, I’ve been inside all day with her — going STIR CRAZY. Speaking of crazy….CHECK IT!!!!:


Everybody who’s anybody was celebrating Tom and Katie’s nuptials at this GORJ medieval castle in Rome:

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.

Now, I’m sure you’ve heard all you can take about this wedding over the weekend. It’s been all over CNN, etc., etc.. Like we really care…. But, anyway. Since we’ve heard just about all we can stand over the weekend, I’ll just treat you to some cheaty visuals from the event. Check it:

Photo, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.

The Beckhams arrived in full fashionista force. Mr. Beckham didn’t attened the wedding because he had soccer practice….

Photo, with thanks, c/o PerezHilton.com.

…It’s okay, though, because there was no room for him next to THAT HAT.

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.

Here’s fellow Scientologist Jenna Elfman at the hotel in Rome. I don’t have a picture of her in her dress. I know, you’re devastated about that. AS IF! Hee.

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy lovin’ it up in Rome and at the TomKat wedding. Cutie!

Photo, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.

Tale as old as time….Song as old as rhyme….Beauty and the beast….

Photo, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.

Will Smith and Jada attended. Whatevs. I’m not a fan. Liking the tux, though…. Sweet white tie
— matches the little white hairs he’s sporting on head and chin these days.

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.

Yeah, that’s Cruise cruisin’ on his wedding day.

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.

Yes, yes, that’s Brooke Shields. Apparently, Brooke was so happy with Tom’s apology to her (for dissing her antidepressants — you know the story) that she and Katie became, like, best friends. So, here she is — a welcome guest at the wedding. Her presence there, in my humble opinion, is at least in part just one of Tom’s attempts to appear sane and normal. MY ASS.

By the way, while unexpected guests like Brooke appeared all smiles, the expected OPRAH WAS NOT INVITED! Some argue that she wasn’t invited because, unlike Brooke’s presence (which reeks of HI-WORLD-I-AM-NORMAL-AGAIN), the mere appearance of Oprah would remind everyone of the infamous couch incident….Good point. Besides, Oprah and Tom are apparently not on speaking terms….


Photo, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.
And the lovely couple….

Here’s hoping this is the last photo we see of them for a while. Apparently, they’re going to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. And, they’re taking Suri and Tom’s other adopted kids with them. Sounds nice and relaxing, don’t it!? Then, in a few months, Tom’s off to Afghanistan to star in the movie "Lions for Lambs," which his new movie company is producing. And, you know what that spells?? FREEDOM for KATIE…!


Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.


Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.



Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.

We’ve never seen these two on Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip. There’s a reason for it: I think they’re boring — which is probably a good thing for them, if you know what I mean…. But, here they are because I thought you might want to see what 62-year-old Michael Douglas looks like (after apparently obviously undergoing some plastic surgery ), and his 37-year-old wife Catherine Zeta-Jones.


Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.

You can’t deny that she looks happy…and cozy, leaning into her new manager (well, he used to be her manager before Federslime came along, and now he’s back!), Larry Rudolf. Here’s his face:

Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.

Not bad. Not bad! Not Federslime, so not bad at all!



Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.

Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.



So, you running out to buy knickers? Did you ever wear them when you were younger? …ahem…I did. I was twelve, or so. I loved my knickers….

Were you inundated with TomKat wedding gossip all weekend, as I was? Had enough of it? Discuss.
Brit’s new manager/boytoy? Discuss. Michael Douglas’s new face? J-Lo’s gown? Discuss.

Oh, and, want more cheaty in your life? Come check it over at The Cheaty Monkey!


xo Haley-O

  • Jen

    I think I need a glossary of terms to figure out the difference between nickers (knickers?), gauchos, pedal pushers, clam diggers, etc. I know I’ve wordn all at some point in my life (and I’m a little disturbed realizing I’ll wear them again).
    New Bond is oh-so-yummy.
    Posh Spice just looks soooo high maintenance to me. No wonder she always looks so pissed off. It must be exhausting to be her!

  • http://www.urbanmoms.ca Kath

    Okay, I have to say it…I’ve been holding it in for ages…but the Pitts are so NOT gorj! Okay, their individual appearances are gorgeous, but the whole situation is so…ick. Besides, no matter how beautiful and bewitching she is, she has her son’s hair cut in a mohawk with a blond streak. WTF? He’s, like, four!?
    Okay, got that off my chest. Phew! I do love your snippet of Beauty and the Beast lyrics. So apropos!
    And, hello, not only was Katie wearing flats under her wedding dress but Tom must’ve been standing on the same Saftey First bathroom stool I have!
    Okay, finally…knickers. Loved ’em then, will probably love ’em again. I know, I know…it’s about the tweed and the knee socks, I guess. Plus, anything that’s NOT skinny jeans and legwarmers is good with me, kwim?
    Okay, I lied…this is really the last one…me likey James Bond too! Want more pics of him, please and thank you!

  • http://www.lifeatthebecks.blogspot.com Lesley

    The whole TomKat thing is like a hangnail, it’s painful but you just can’t leave it alone. I am so sick of hearing/reading about them but I just can’t get enough – I may need a whole TomKat detox.
    Knickers? I don’t recall wearing them and I’m not sure I’ll be going down that road any time soon.
    And where is the wee Jolie-Pitt? Angelina strikes me as a babywearer so I’m a little shocked.

  • http://www.urbanmoms.ca Jen

    Yummm…new 007. Anything, Cheaty??
    Posh does look alien-like and NEVER happy or relaxed.
    I am S.I.C.K. of Tom and Katie! Yet, I can’t seem to stop myself from reading about them…I need help!
    OK, Brit. Give it a little time, k? Can women in Hollywood never be on their own?
    I have to ask, where is that Jolie-Pitt baby?! Every pic we see is mysteriously sans bebe? Any ideas?

  • http://crazymummasays.blogspot.com/ Anne

    I have always thought Jim Carrey was cute. F’ed up but cute. Michael Douglas, man he has been around for so long, but I kinda like his gig ya know?
    Poor Katie, what a whacked out world…
    now, Cheaty, what do you know about that hunka burnin man love in the new Bond movie. Simmering hot man action indeed!

  • http://www.jodinesmith.blogspot.com Jodi

    I totally wore knickers in grade 6! Never again.
    Victoria Beckham looks like an alien to me. I know, that’s mean…

  • http://www.alimartell.com ali

    Victoria beckham is soooo weird-looking. she scares me a little bit.
    knickers?! wtf?

  • http://justtug.blogspot.com Tug

    No nickers. Who is that Catherine ZJ is leaning in to kiss?? WHERE ARE THE LIFEJACKETS & THE KIDS Angelina?? Does Posh ever SMILE? Or LAUGH??

  • http://lauraldawn.blogspot.com lauraldawn

    First of all – I like Posh’s look. She’s cool.
    Next. About the knickers … I had knickers also. I can’t imagine ever wearing them again. I think I was about 6 when I wore them. I never quite got it then. And I still don’t.
    And, about the whole Oprah not going to the wedding. That’s kind of weird. But, she would kind of upstage them, you know. I’ve heard a theory that she’s basically the queen of scientology and that everyone really respects her. But this blows the theory out of the water.

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