Empowering Parenting: Balance

Ok…this time around I’m shifting gears and making the focus about you moms, not your kiddies!  After all, nurturing yourself will have transcending effects that will only enhance you as mother so we’re putting YOU first.

It was the most highly voted topic on the survey… a whopping 40% of you indicated interest in it – so here it is…

…BALANCE.

Balance, in my opinion, is about living life authentically and to its fullest.  This means a commitment to nurturing all aspects of you that are meaningful for enhancing your overall health and wellness.

In my practice, it’s moms who seem to struggle most with this concept of balance and I’ve found that it’s simply because, for most moms, there exists a belief that life with children means no more life of your own.  I often hear moms say things like, “I made the decision to have children once I’d done everything I wanted to do” or “becoming a mom means you have to give it all up”.  Where did these ideas come from?

So I’m turning back the clock and taking those beliefs with me. 

In order to achieve balance, one must actively program it into their life – literally.  So, I offer you ‘Mom’s Balance Chart’, a visual guide to achieving it all.

Grab yourself some paper and a pen and jot down the areas in your life that are authentic and meaningful to you.  Such categories could include: Work/Home, Children, Partner, Activities/Hobbies, Friends, Self-Care.  Underneath, list the areas that define these categories for you.  For example:

You are then going to create a chart.  Take some time and make the chart reflect you so that it draws you in.  Add color, pictures, art – be creative.  Stick it in a place that you will always see it.  At its most basic level it should look as follows, but some moms I’ve worked with have created really beautiful masterpieces:

The purpose of the chart is to track that weekly balance is occurring.  This means that each category be checked off at least once in the week, accompanied by the activity that you did to complete the category.  For example:

Actively implementing balance every week will not only force you to remember the authentic and meaningful parts of yourself but it will also act as a guide that proves what parts you tend to ignore.  Some of you might also find it helpful to chart where your partner is helping out (i.e. Sam to bathe kids: Monday, Wednesday, Sunday) so that you can focus on other meaningful areas in your life during that time.  I imagine most of you will be full to the brim in the Work/Home and Children categories.  See if you can’t commit to branching out.  After all, it will only make you better at your job and better at being a mom.

Make the commitment to balance your life one week at a time and send me your feedback on how you’re doing.

Happy charting!!!

Kyla is an Individual, Family an Couple Therapist practicing in Toronto. To contact Kyla, email her at kyla@kylafoxtherapy.com. Her website is www.kylafoxtherapy.com.

Any advice or strategy is general and suggestive only and may not ensure change or success. Implementation of Kyla’s strategies or advice is entirely discretionary on the reader’s part, and Kyla assumes no liability for any unintended or negative result arising from reader’s implementation of such strategies. All cases are unique and the reader is urged to obtain clinical advice from a duly licensed practitioner.