I hope this gossip finds you well! On tap today: HEIDI AND SEAL sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g!; BRAD says he’d never cheat on ANGELINA; HARRISON and CALISTA; the Trumpster thinks knows beauty…; REALITY ROUNDUP; AND, MORE!
HOTTEST COUPLE KISSING IT UP IN THE PUMPKIN PATCH!
Look at Heidi Klum and Seal loving it up after three kids — still HAWT and gorj and…just fascinating. They are a fascinating couple. So, beautiful and talented and, like, pleasantly conservative. I mean, they pretty-much mind their own business and seem to have a normal family life. They’re just the kind of celebrity we like to see: available for sweet pics like this, yet private and not flashy. Love!
Photos, with thanks, c/o X17.
BRAD WILL NEVER CHEAT ON ANGELINA — IT’S A KARMA THING….
Apparently, Bradley has amnesia — because THIS is what he told the British Cosmopolitan: "I always have and I always will [be faithful]. I don’t like to see couples who have affairs on film sets – or anywhere. I operate on the belief that it catches up with you." I mean, hast thou forgotten…THIS?
Okay, WTF!? Brad LIES! We expect this from Angelina, but…Brad? Shame.
CALISTA AND HARRISON!
The celebs are LOVING the pumpkin patches this year, huh?! Or, maybe the paps are just camping out there…. How cute are Calista and Harrison and Liam? Harrison’s getting right in there with the trolley and everything — soooo Indiana Jones! HAAAWT…even at 150 years old!
Photos, with thanks, c/o X17.
ASHTON KUTCHER ON SET
What can I say? I have a soft spot for Ashton…even though he’s a pretty boy and Big Mama here likes ‘em BURLY! Hee! He’s just got that brillers funny personality. I just saw him on Cribs the other day, and he was sooooo ‘dorable and funny and normal-like. CUTENESS! I’ll be
seeing renting Ashton’s new movie, What Happens in Vegas, fashizzle (i.e., fo sho!)!
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash.
DONALD TRUMP HAS HIS OWN OPINIONS (HEH, I PUN)
Check what The Donald told Larry King (on Larry King Live) about Angelina Jolie and George Clooney, two of the world’s most famous gorj people:
“One of the perceptions I had of George Clooney was he was this
big, strong guy. And he was very little when I met him…. Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she’s
like this great beauty. And I’m not saying she’s an unattractive woman,
but she’s not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination…. I really
understand beauty. And I will tell you, she’s not — I do own Miss
Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I
do understand beauty, and she’s not…."
Now, when’s the last time Miss Universe was gorjer than Angelina Jolie…? Seriously. And, last time I heard, "beauty" was subjective, right? Sheesh. Can you say "know-it-all"? Although…. I can’t say I’m not a sneaky little bit thrilled with someone dissing Ange’s looks. I mean, ‘cuz her head’s gotta be YUGE with all those "Most Beautiful in the World" titles… — or, maybe it’s just her body getting so skinny her head just LOOKS big?
UCH! Here she is looking SICKLY GORJ on the set of her new movie, Clint Eastwood’s The Changeling. (And, in photo #2, SHE EATS! Click to enlarge! …although there’s no enlarging her calves/ankles in photo #3…. Yikes!)
Photos, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.
How AWESOME was The Hills last night? Best line of the season so far? When Brody looks Lauren right in the eye and tells her that Heidi and Spencer ("Speidi") started the sex tape rumour: "I can tell you for 100% fact they did it." HAH! Freaking awesome. I think I fell in love with Brody when he said that the way he did…. Mmm mmm mmm! Best Hills ever.
The Bachelor sho is HEATING UP! Looks like Jenny is the frontrunner. She’s pretty pretty, but, she’s very cheerleadery and annoyingly flirty-giggly…. He needs someone with a little more substance methinks? Moreover, is it me? Or, does Bachelor Brad not know how to wipe tears off a girl’s face. He wiped Bettina’s AND Jade’s AND (I think even) McCarten’s tears, and it was BRUTAL. He used his thumb, and it lingered awkwardly under the girl’s eye…. He was doing it to be a gentleman, but he was sooooo weird about it. Every time a girl cried, I was like, "OH NO, HERE COMES THE THUMB." A-ny-way, SO, who y’all cheering for (his accent is rubbing off on me…). I used to like DeAnna…. But, she was ick last show — too competitive and unexpectedly immature. Finally, I hate to be mean, but McCarten is the "poor man’s" Mischa Barton, doncha think? She was pretty until she started crying and her bottom lip started curling unattractively. Poor girl…..
Ugh, there’s some big disaster coming to Y&R. "Who will rise out of the ashes," the preview mysteriously asks us…. Fab. I can’t wait to see them all trapped together in the ruins of some Clear Springs building. SARCASM, of course. How annoying will that be for the next, like, 10 years…? Who needs it! Victoria is SO almost going to lose the baby. And, Adrian’s going to die. Those are my predictions. Fasten your seatbelts, Y&R fans: it’s going to be a THUPER annoying ride.
Oy, my little Rascal is up. Grunting for me to pick him up. I better go. I’m not strong enough to let him cry for a minute….
Want more Cheaty? Check it — at THE CHEATY MONKEY!