0 09/15/2011 relationships

When One Thing Leads to Another

I meet a lot of incredible people both virtually and in real life through UrbanMoms. Sometimes these meetings turn into friendships or clients or other opportunities. I love when this happens. What I love more than anything is when one of these “meetings” becomes an opportunity for inspiration and learning.

Recently, I posted on Twitter that my 12 year-old son told me he didn’t want to grow up. This lead to a conversation about aging and, eventually, death. He asked me what happens after we die and told me he worries. I posted this on Twitter too and someone posted back asking what I had said to him. I didn’t know this person or her circumstances but I did what I always do, I answered her honestly. I had told my son that I didn’t know what happened after we die but I do know there was no point worrying about it. Worrying wouldn’t change anything. And that his best bet was to enjoy every second, love a lot and live his life large.
This created some conversation on Twitter and the woman who had originally asked me the question posted that she tells her children the same thing. But for her, it is complicated. Her kids have a real reason to ask questions, their little brother died recently when he was only 3 years old. She explained that she reassures them by reminding them that he was sick. But, for them, the death of a child, a loved one, is not an unlikely improbability. 
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Heather shares the story of the life and death of her son Zack.
After some back and forth on Twitter I was so impressed by this new found friend that I asked if she would be willing to share her story and insights with the UrbanMoms community. She had thought a lot about bereavement and loss and how to support her family through their grief. As heartbreaking as her story is, I knew we could all learn from it.
I am thrilled to have Heather’s first post in her series on bereavement and loss live on UrbanMoms. Please follow Heather’s story to learn about how we can support our children with their tough questions on this very emotional topic.
What do you say when your children ask about death? How do you comfort them?

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