4 08/15/2012 relationships Self

words for wednesday-what hurts you makes you stronger


A friend was over for dinner Friday night. He told me that a doctor friend of his said “if you are over 50 and nothing hurts, you are dead”

Nothing hurts me. I will be 50 in two seasons from now. Maybe I am dead. (Is this heaven or hell?)
It got me thinking about physical strength and how we achieve it.
It takes training,  discipline and dedication. When something gets too easy you have to ramp it up a little. If you ramp it up too much you get hurt.
I wont bore you with what I have been doing to be stronger and to have my back no longer occasionally hurt. But it has worked.
What about emotional strength?  I want to get stronger in every area of my life.  I used to be not very  strong. Divorce, sadness, loss ( and wins and gains too)  and challenge have made me stronger- so much stronger than I thought I could be . Finding out none of it  can kill you helps. After all if you can live through it and triumph – you learn  it will all get better with time and your own willpower.
 I want to be like IRON in this area too. Or kryptonite. Or diamond. Something stronger than strong. Can I be  this without  being jaded, pessimistic or negative? Can I still have the soul of an 8 year old and the wisdom of a mature woman? Can we  be wise and innocent at once?
Does all emotional strength come from pain and struggle training? When we ramp things up do we get hurt?  Do we only find out what we are made of when life throws us a curve ball ? After many curve balls – do they no longer phase us the way they once did?
 I want to be my strongest strong.  Does that mean I say goodbye to ‘happy- go -lucky’, trusting, believing and wondering?
Enough questions for now.
I look to all of you for answers at your very earliest convenience.
  • http://www.myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com Nancy

    good point- I like this- thank you for sharing

  • Anonymous

    I feel like all the wonderful strength which helped me raise 4 boys, recover from having a parent recover from alcoholism, forge a career (with short people), most likely helped my divorce to happen. Would I change the outcome? Talk to me in another couple of years! However, whatever it takes to survive often needs to be taken off and hung at the door, because, baby survival is sooo not necessary-look at what we have! Sometimes you need that tough shield (a diamond one sounds like a sexy accessory for every woman) but maybe the point is not to raise it too quickly…

  • Julie

    if you are over 50 and hurting then YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! sorry but that is a ridiculous comment to me.
    if you want to be a diamond then (just like sara said) things are going to bounce off of you and no emotions will come out and you will be cold, hard…pretty, but also unattainable. (well, for me…i can’t afford a diamond lol)
    trust me, i’m trying to be all iron emotionally because i’m tired of having my heart ripped out and i’ve been finding that nothing soft, fun and happy is coming out…just iron chips and shards and that is helping no one.

  • Sara

    ahhhhhh just that image made me bawl – that movie made me cry harder than anything.
    Anyway – this is very deep for so early! You can never not be happy go lucky, trusting etc Nancy – that’s YOU. Don’t be a diamond or steel – you can’t penetrate it….I prefer to be a sponge – you can be strong a hold a ton of stuff – but then you can squeeze it and release it….

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