When I was pregnant, I remember reading with smug satisfaction on Pregnant Chicken the lists of things mothers swore they’d “never do” once they had kids. I knew kids were unpredictable – I was going to make no such assumptions about my future parenting. I had some general ideas, like how I would prefer recycled or wooden toys, or how we would get Netflix and never let the child see TV commercials. But if we were only given plastic toys, or we were too lazy to get Netflix (both the case in the end), no biggie. I was all “like, whatever” and I was pretty sure I’d stay that way.
I read all the books, but the two that most spoke to me were Bringing Up Bebe and French Kids Eat Everything. As a glutton, I assumed I would have the kind of toddler who would eat sushi and look adorable tearing a lobster in half. By age three, I imagined him specifying whether he wanted Szechuan and Hunan food for dinner and ordering dim sum in Mandarin. By five, I hoped he would be able to recite all the kinds of peppers in order of their Scoville heat units. I was going to have a foodie baby, and he was going to go along with and get into all my dining plans.
Never be smug. When you are smug, you pay. Maybe not right away, but you pay.
I was so excited when at three months, he was grabbing at our forks and mimicking our chewing. He’s so advanced! I thought. At four months, it took him just a few days to get the idea of swallowing pablum and peach puree made from my mother-in-law’s canned peaches.
At six months, he had his first vegetable. I would give him bottles filled with gently warmed homemade chicken or vegetable broth, which he received with intrigued enthusiasm. He was doing so well.
I don’t know what happened. I just don’t know.
My 19-month-old, my happy, healthy toddler boy only eats smooth food. Oh, he’ll eat peanut butter sandwiches and muffins and cookies and barbecue chips and Cheerios and bananas, but at dinner time, at the table, he will only eat purees. I have tried everything – when I put small pieces of food on a plate, he will pick each piece up with delicate precision and drop each piece onto the floor. He will not consider blueberries, grapes, or pieces of mango, which is his favourite fruit. Anything savoury is immediately refused. No cheese, never. He hates pasta and potatoes and even rice. I have attempted to feed him the same things as many as 25 or 30 times, but he will not even try what I’m setting before him; if I put something with texture into his mouth, he will melt-the-eff-down. But if I puree it, he will eat it. This is getting ridiculous.
He is not even trying to learn Mandarin.
So what do I do? Do I ditch my dream of raising an adventurous eater? Do I hold him down and shove forkfuls of rice and beans into his face? Do I bring him back to the hospital and ask for a trade? Do I just accept that he’s going to eat like a dentures-wearer for the rest of his life?
How did you get your kids to move onto real food?
“He is not even trying to learn Mandarin” had me snorting my Pellegrino out of my nose, Emily 😉
So, here’s the thing. Julie’s totally right on about parenting. It never gets easier or less frustrating, it’s just that all the stress moves around. With a nearly 13 year-old daughter in my house right now, I WISH my biggest problem was that she’d only eat pureed food.
And that’s not meant to belittle what you’re going through right now. It totally is frustrating – having lived through the “I will pick up every grain of rice and floret of broccoli, carefully demonstrating my advanced pincer-grip and fine-motor skills, and then look you in the eye as I drop it on the floor – EFF YOU, LADY…WHY YOU FEED ME THIS CRAP?” stage with one of my own, I totally get it.
But I guess all I can do is pass along some of my own mother’s wisdom, “this too shall pass”. Like Julie said, It does just happen. One day you’ll realize, “holy shit! The kid just ate pieces of steamed carrot and I didn’t even have to mash it first!” and you’ll be on to the next thing. Like nightmares, or bed wetting, or biting in preschool, or not being able to read all the words on the Dolch sight word list, or forgetting to do homework, or getting a red card at soccer, or texting inappropriate things to a kid of the opposite (or same) sex, or breaking curfew, or wrecking the car, or dropping out after first year…
Not sure when that list of stress ends (maybe never? please tell me that’s not true…)
honestly, it just happens. just keep putting it there and keep cleaning it up after. he’s still little (really!) so just make no fuss…even tho’ you want to scream. could be he’s getting his 2 year molars early so his mouth is all sore. depending on the kid those bad boys can take a long time to come in so maybe chewing is something he just doesn’t want to do right now.
even so, my 10 and 7 year old still won’t eat certain things, mostly because they won’t even try something new and they’re old enough to know better and that’s most frustrating for me. so i have a fit and then they go hungry cuz i’m not making 12 different meals for dinner. don’t fall into the short order cook, trap!
I hope that’s it and that one day he will try cheese! Meals are very frustrating in the meantime.
We are on the same page re: short-order cookery – I swear I won’t do it either!
something else you might want to try and the girls still go nuts over…guacamole. the easiest thing to make. one avocado (make sure it’s ripe, gently push the stem, if there’s some ‘give’ then you’re god to go), 1/2 a lime, a bit o’ garlic and salt. lots of good fats…maybe dipping something crunchy might help. just season it to taste, finely chop some spinach if you like to put in…
i’m beginning to realize that kids are frustrating no matter what age. it’s just the frustrations go somewhere else! i promise you we will get out alive! 🙂
Ooh, I’ll try that! I put avocado in everything – I sub it for butter in baking, and I make a chocolate “pudding” out of avocado, banana, and cocoa that he likes. Maybe guacamole is the next logical step! Thank you!
I was hoping it would level off and get easy at some point? When can I start neglecting him?