15 05/17/2012 parenting

Gay. Get Over It.


So Raven-Symone, the cute kid from The Cosby Show and star of Disney shows like The Cheetah Girls and That’s So Raven, came out and social media went wild.  And not in a good way.

It also happened to be #NOH8 Day in support of gay marriage and equality in the United States.  So I find it particularly sad in this day and age to see a reaction so hate filled and, frankly, mean.

Am I being naïve or is this strictly because being gay is about sex?  We don’t see two people in love, we see two people having sex.  And that sexuality is thrust in our faces.  I mean, I don’t walk around saying “I’m Racheal and I’m a breeder”.  I just don’t feel the need to qualify my sexual orientation they way some people qualify their Starbucks orders.

But then sex makes us as a society so uncomfortable.  Look at what’s happening in Ottawa right now with the controversy over an exhibit at the Canada  Science and Technology Museum.  We’ll get uptight about letting our children watch love scenes, but won’t give a second thought to some of the violence they repeatedly see.  

And yes, Fifty Shades of Grey, a book dubbed “mommy porn”,  is circulating faster than timbits at a pee wee hockey game; but it’s something that’s hidden away and giggled over in private, just like we hid dog-eared copies of Judy Blume’s Forever when we were growing up.

Bottom line is being gay doesn’t make you weak or inferior.  Neither does wearing glasses or having red hair.  It’s genetically who you are.

So my question is: does it matter?  

Would you think any less of the poem In Flanders Fields if I told you John McCrae was gay?  Would it make his contribution any less valid?

My husband says because I grew up in a big multi-cultural city, I live in a bubble and have an unrealistic view of the world.  If that bubble means I can see people for who they are and not who they sleep with, then I’m happy to stay there.

  • https://vimeo.com/39756123 Doretta Bellace

    Wonderful post like always mate 😉

  • Chantel

    She is a beautiful young lady and very talented she deserves to be loved by who ever. OMG GET OVER IT PEOPLE! Really. It makes me so ticked off. I thought people were over this for goodness sake. I say good for her and I still think she is an excellent role model for all children out there.

  • Julie

    I hate the term “coming out”. It implies that if you are homosexual, then you must announce it to the world before you begin a relationship with someone you love, instead of just carrying on with your life. Why do I need to know she’s gay? I didn’t annouce to everyone that I was heterosexual….I just got married and continued to live my life. No questions. Bizarre.

  • Julie

    i love christine’s comment! i would think my father would be more outraged that “this guy” slept with his daughter than the fella over there slept with the other fella…too funny.
    gawd, really…WHO CARES???? did she kill a kitten as part of a “gay initiation”? did she gun down a nursery school to “become” gay? drives me nuts that people hate people who love.

  • Tracey

    *wipes sweat from brow* PHEW!

  • Jen

    Testify!! I don’t care who is gay and who isn’t. It’s a natural part of each person and there is nothing wrong or different about it. Isn’t it sad that people feel they have to hide who they really are?
    Gayness does seem to equate with sex…..but so does a heterosexual couple….so does pregnancy and so does wine and lingere and roses.
    It’s 2012. Let’s love and celebrate everyone for who they REALLY are!

  • Sara

    So well said Racheal. I just don’t understand – I can’t figure it out! Who cares!!!
    And as a p.s. have you seen her girlfriend?? BEAUTIFUL!

  • Sara

    So well said Racheal! Seriously – it’s beyond me. I just don’t get it.
    and p.s. did you see her girlfriend – she’s GORGEOUS. I’d yell it from the rooftops!

  • Racheal

    My mother once said “all my children are virgins.” When I asked about the ones with kids, without skipping a beat she said “especially them!”

  • Racheal

    So far so good -she’s starring on Broadway in Sister Act.

  • Christine

    I’m with all on this one. Are we more tolerant here in Canada?
    Some peoples minds are just skewed.
    When you talk about it being about sex, my sister in law said it made her very uncomfortable each time I announced a pregnancy. She said “So your basically announcing you had sex with my brother. Ew”

  • Renee @MommysHomestead

    Can we connect our bubbles as we seem to have the same view on the whole *OMG THEY ARE GAY, THE FREAKS!!* thing. Who cares what someone’s sexuality is, except if it involves children, there is a line you just don’t cross after all. Can’t a person in love be looked at because they are just that, A Person In Love.
    Personally I believe that a lot of the people that have a hate on for homosexuals don’t really hate them for being homosexual but rather they are projecting their intense jealously as hate due to something lacking in their lives, in this case that is a person in love with another person who is being loved by that person in return.
    I’ve been a crucial part of many same sex marriages (I am a Registered Marriage Officiant after all) and have found that the atmosphere at them are much more relaxed, accepting and overall generally more fun to be a part of than an opposite sex wedding. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy being a part of every marriage I solemnize, however the LGBT community seems to be more pleasant and happier as a whole.
    A person’s sexuality should not be a thing someone thinks about when referencing another person. Unless they are directly hurting you or your children, who cares!
    I applaud Raven for coming out and being open and honest about her sexuality. She should not be ridiculed for it at all.

  • Tracey

    I can’t believe it’s still an issue for people. It’s boring as hell, and sadder still that there’s ever an “uproar” over someone coming out… it’s a wonderful thing, to live as authentically as one can – I hope it doesn’t affect her work possibilities. 🙁

  • Erin Little

    Well said. Why anyone cares who someone else is in love with is beyond me. As for our fear of sex, what’s up with that? It’s about control – especially controlling women. Jezebel just had a good article on Beyonce and how the media and exes are crucifying her for her sexuality. So small minded and stupid.

  • Jen

    You and I must have grown up in the same bubble.
    People seriously need to get over themselves.

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