15 09/11/2012 parenting Family

Family is everything

Last week our family was shaken to it’s core when we received the news that my sister’s husband, Scott died suddenly.
Immediately my mum, dad, my oldest sister, Angie and I pulled together.
Scott was here in Ontario. My sister Kelly was out in BC with their daughter Marley, who is 5.  
We had to tell her over the phone. We sat around my kitchen table trying to figure out the easiest, most gentle way to break this unimaginable news. We managed to get through that.

My mum had a flight booked first thing the next morning to bring them home.
She got off the plane in BC and within 2 hours was on her way back home with Kelly and Marley.

Sean picked them up at the airport. My dad, Angie and I waited at my mum’s place.
Kelly asked that we all be there when they got home.
Marley still did not know. Sean dropped them off and went home to be with our kids.

There we sat in my mum’s condo. The family I grew up in. The people who built my foundation.
My mum, dad and 2 sisters.
With a 5 year old girl whose world was about to change forever.
We sat together, surrounding each other with love and compassion and sadness. With a broken heart I watched my sister break the unfathomable news to her daughter that her daddy was gone.
During that time I also felt immense gratitude that we had each other in those horrific hours as grief came out in it’s most primal form.

Since that night we have made sure that Kelly has full time support. My mum has been her chauffeur. She’s been staying at our place and Eva has been home from school keeping her cousin company. 
This past Saturday night my sisters, my 18yr old niece and I sat around my kitchen table. We cried. And laughed and told jokes and made fun of each other. We let my niece in on some of our sisterly secrets. It was soul soothing.
I have had to guide my own children through their grief at the loss of their beloved uncle. They adored him. There is confusion. Fear. Anxiety. Sadness.
We make sure that there is always love. Nothing they do or say is wrong. They are working through this as we all are.  We are going to do it together. However long it takes and whatever we have to do.
Because we are a family. It feels like we are a little bit broken right now but I believe we will all heal. We will heal together and we will heal with the memories we have of Uncle Scotty that made him the beloved gentle giant that he was.
  • Kath

    Sara, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I sobbed while reading this post. Those pictures speak volumes. Your brother in law was obviously a man who was deeply loved and will be equally deeply missed. Hugs to you and yours.

  • Sara

    I’m so sorry Christine – what a beautiful post to remind us of family. And Annabelle, like you – I read obits all the time – we need to remember that all these people lived such wonderful lives and are leaving these strong families. Thinking of you Christine. xx

  • Annabelle

    I am so sorry for you and your family. I can’t believe I recognized that black and white picture of him. I read his obituary the other day and was touched by how he was called a “gentle giant” and had such a great smile. I sometimes read obits because they are reminders of the fragility of life and are filled with so many messages of love. He was cleared loved by all of you.

  • Erin Little

    Oh Christine, I am so sorry. Family is everything and will make all the difference for your sister. I’m sending love to all of you.

  • Nancy

    Oh Chris, beautifully written about such a tragedy and loss. Yes, family is everything and it is so good you have each other. God bless xxx

  • Chantel

    Christine I am so sorry for your loss. You are so lucky to have such a supportive family. My heart goes to you and your family.

  • Amreen

    I am so sorry for your loss, Christine. My heart goes out to your sister and niece and to all of you. sending love and prayers.

  • carol enright

    I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your brother-in-law. My thoughts are with you Christine.

  • Tracey

    Oh my darling, I am so sorry to hear this bad news… I’m so glad to know you all have each other at this time, though. Wow, what a blow. 🙁 You hang in there, sistah. xoxoxo

  • http://Http://kristapeck.com Krista

    Unimaginable 🙁 My thoughts & prayers are w/ your family.

  • Julie

    it’s good to hear you have each other. i’m sorry to hear about scott…he looked like an amazing man!

  • Jennifer

    I am so sorry, Christine. Words really fail me at times like this, but I’m so glad you all have one another to lean on. Family truly is everything.

  • Leslie

    Christine, so sorry to hear of your devastating loss. Family is everything and it sounds like yours has already figured that out.

  • kimmyz

    On this day, this day of all days there is a world of families that feels your grief. A pain so poignant it physically hurts. On this day 6 yrs ago another family lost a mother, a sister, a friend. Children do not carry the same emotion baggage we do. They process and question on a basic level. I found the children the most amazing part through our family’s journey. I wish your family strength and love during this challenging time.
    There is healing and hope and happiness on the other side of grief.

  • Jen

    Oh, Christine. My heart breaks for you guys. What a tragedy.
    I know that when my mom passed away I would not have survived without my family. That connection, the support and the deep bond is what kept us from falling.
    Lots of love to you and yours.

More Posts From The Parenting Category

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back: Is It Impossible To…

Confession: I'm not a perfect mom. In fact, sometimes it feels like there's a lot I have yet to learn. Take, for…

Is Your Teenager Entitled To An Allowance?

As a kid, I was enamoured with the idea of an allowance. In the 80s, there were plenty of happy families portrayed on…

Michele Kambolis: How To Solve Your Nighttime Wetting B…

Wetting the bed can seem like a nightmare, whether it's the child going through it or the parent dealing with it.…

Your Teen's Messy Bedroom Isn't A Problem. It's Art.

"I'll do it later." "I'm doing homework." "I like it this way." By now you've probably heard every excuse…