It has been a long, slow road to recovery for my daughter who suffered a ruptured appendix earlier this year; likewise for her mother and the state of our home.
During Maddy’s fortnight-plus in hospital, my daughters and I were buoyed by the support of friends, family and colleagues in a myriad of ways. From a freezer full of meals (and wine, thank you very much) to care packages that included tissues, hair elastics and lip balm (who knew? And yet: so very helpful); from daily messages of support via social media to a cross-country visit from each member of my immediate family… let’s just say we had a lot of help.
My sisters did the one thing I wouldn’t allow anyone else to do for me: the laundry.
When the chips are down, people really want to help. It makes them feel good and useful and – obviously – it helps. To quote Martha Stewart (which, by the way, barf) “it’s a good thing”. So when people asked me what they could do to help, I tried to honour that request with honesty. In response to the many, many offers of help, I asked for a wide range of supports:
- please don’t visit today
- please do visit today (and bring coffee)
- healthy snacks to stash at the hospital
- People and Hello magazines
- drives to and from school for big sister
- somewhere for big sister to hang out (other than the hospital)
- help with the housework (this one was delivered in spades – I have enough maid gift certificates to last me until summer!)
- and so much more
But it was my sisters, who came to stay at my house and take care of the other living creatures there (my teenaged daughter, two cats and a dog) so that I was free to take care of Maddy in the hospital, who did the one thing I wouldn’t allow anyone else to do for me: the laundry.
It’s not that nobody else offered to do it (more than one brave friend actually did), it’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to let them do it. Not because we’re super-smelly or dirty or because I don’t want people seeing my dainties. No, I didn’t trust anyone else to mess with my washing for a completely ridiculous (and moderately insane) reason.
You fold it wrong.
Even my brave, intrepid sisters were hesitant to do it, “I did the wash, but I’ll let you fold it…” or “I know you’re just going to re-fold it anyway…”
photo credit: atypicaltypea.com
I have, it would seem, a small problem. When it comes to folding laundry, I’m a little – let’s call it fussy – about how it’s done. I like creases to be just-so, seams to be lined up and please, please don’t ball the socks (pair them evenly and turn down the top third). And can we talk undies? Undies must be folded. Folded, and sorted in piles. I mean, really. For the love. There are no words equal to the horror that is a panty drawer full of gitch tossed in all helter-skelter. *shudders*
The rather unfortunate incongruity of this compulsion for order in my clean clothes storage is that my house doesn’t in any way resemble a page from Home and Garden or even the Ikea catalogue. There’s usually a fair bit of clutter, a lot of loose papers, a jumble of chargers, cables and cords and about even odds for a sink full of dirty dishes. And if you caught a glimpse of my desk at work you’d never imagine I’m the type who folds her drawers, but there it is: there’s something about clean clothes and order and the matching of seams and smoothing of creases that is just – necessary.
In the end, I did let my sisters do the wash. And I let them fold much of it. And I didn’t even re-fold it.
And the world hasn’t come to an end (not yet, anyway).
LMAO…I feel the same about laundry, I too have let go with everything else that needs to be done when my husband does laundry I just don’t look. I used to refold everything and re orgainze the drawers after he had done it but now I remind myself he did and thats all that matters.
i can totally agree with you on that. i refold hubby’s job all of the time 🙂 i wonder if it was also just you wanting to have some control or something just “normal” after giving up so much of your control with maddy’s recovery. either way it’s good to know you have such a great group surrounding you!