The newest tradition is just days away from year two at our house. No longer is an advent calendar sufficient. Oh hell no. What about watching Charlie Brown Christmas? Rudolph? Yeah well that’s part of it – but oh no. Specials just won’t do either. Now? It’s all about the Elf on a Shelf. Let’s say that again. Okay. Elf on a SHELF. Key word here….SHELF. Nowhere is the creepy little thing called….
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- On a date!
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- Shaving!
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- To a pole?
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- With Woody?
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- At a tea party!
Elf on a date? Elf Shaving? Parents! Why are we doing this to each other. See here is the problem. Will’s Elf On A Shelf, whose name neither one of us can remember, let’s just say if that freaking elf gets moved every night, it’s a miracle. But now that so many kids have these elves, they swap stories. So if you’re putting your kids Elf in a bowl of cotton balls and say he’s having a bubble bath, my kid wonders why his elf is so freaking dull.
So if you’re putting your kids Elf in a bowl of cotton balls and say he’s having a bubble bath, my kid wonders why his elf is so freaking dull.
It sort of reminds me of how my mother had Santa call me to tell me that he can’t deliver live animals on the sleigh. This was in response to a yearly #1 on my list for a guinea pig. Well, I was great with that excuse until the kid next door got a dog from Santa. What the what? I wish the Elf had come with a set of parental instructions, Specifically to remind us that the Elf is not about creative ways to pose it. The Elf was designed as a bribery tool. Plain and simple. Bribery PEOPLE – to help REDUCE stress at Christmas.
But now, here I sit four days before December wondering how many mornings I’ll come down the stairs, see that godforsaken Elf in the same place as the morning before and chuck him somewhere so it looks like he actually moved over the night.
I’ll keep you posted how our dull, lazy, Elf who shall remain nameless fares this holiday season. And you can let me know what exciting adventures yours went on. Deal?
Every ornament is special as all the ornaments are something that we collected on a vacation, a hand-made ornament from special people in our lives and ornaments that special meaning….a decorated wine cork from wine tour trip to Kelowna. The pair of white doves that topped our wedding cake 40+years ago nestle on our tree top every Christmas!
I’m not an Elfer. Or, a Shelfer. Or whatever one calls oneself when one participates in the Elf on Shelf shenanigans… and you can’t make me… 😉
that’s funny. i always thought it to be a good idea, but since i’m a lazy parent this wouldn’t be a good fit for me 🙂
my brother and his wife thought it would be a great idea for santa to fill up the living room with balloons on christmas morning! what joy! what fun! so, they ended up having 4 kids and it’s been 20 years of christmas eve balloon-fest. as he said…not a well thought out plan 🙂
So if anyone’s kids ask… Sarah’s elf is moving to unionize the elf labor force. Due to poor living arrangements and long hours, the elves are inciting a work to rule campaign. Their demands include; improved safety measures to protect them from the family pet, and a shortened work term of ten days prior to Christmas. Failure to comply will result in strike action. This is a tremendous opportunity to speak with your kids about elven rights protection and organized labor laws.
Somehow, through some miracle of Christmas, we managed to miss out on that elf altogether. God bless us, everyone.
Maybe your elf has great time management skills. He leaves himself sufficient time after whatever malarkey he gets up to and gets back to his resting spot. I suspect you have one of the rare, successful, over achiever elves. He’s probably at the head of the operation, inciting the actions of everyone else’s elves. You should probably check your cell phone bill.
oh my god – that’s hilarious!
I am sorry but I have grown to hate that thing! I forget about it all the time and then my daughter is all like, “Why didn’t Jimmy move last night??” Ugh. So far this year I have managed to keep Jimmy lost in the post-renovation boxes in our basement 😉