tightrope walker.jpg

 It hit me in a matter of fact way last week that I am a single mom. I know that sounds redundant but I don’t think of it often as a way to describe myself (unless I need help carrying something heavy). I realized  not just a single mom but the one, you know, you read about in those teen books or watch in an ABC after school special that is doing it all, raising her children by herself, counting her blessings, but sometimes scared too. I thought that might be a bridge solo  job but now I see as my eldest is in grade 12, that I have really raised her by myself.
I feel like this tightrope walker, holding my breath, exhilarated by the challenge and afraid of it too. I am  aware of the hushed silence around me, the people sometimes amazed below, a bunch of them waiting for me to fall, a few of them looking up my skirt ( you know I can’t resist comic relief), and one or two saying “I don’t know how she does it”. 
I am balancing the weight of playing both roles, all roles. I can’t let down my guard, can’t relax. I want everything for them  and I am afraid of falling. 
  • http://www.myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com Nancy

    oh they see the dust, Donnie! xoxoxo me

  • DR

    Nancy,
    Never be afraid of falling forthat is how you reach new heights. If you fall you just pick yourself back up, dust off and try again. And you have two fabulous children to dust you off. And if they see you dusty from time to time, perhaps they will reach higher and get dusty along the road. Keep up the fabulous work, and thanks again for dinnse, ;-)

  • http://www.myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com Nancy

    thank you Shaquita!

  • http://artik.dk/2011/09/kom-billigt-over-oresundsbroen/ Shaquita Chriswell

    Superb post – once again!

  • Nancy

    thank you grumbler
    maybe I shoud inhale more…………. heh

  • Nancy

    thanks so much Desi- your mom sounds amazing- a great role model for you.
    And thank you so much for sharing my post!

  • Nancy

    I really do actually Jen, thank you. But you know at the end of the day it is really up to each of us, right?

  • Jennifer

    You’ve offered such a perfect comparison, Nancy, and described it so beautifully. I hope you feel that you’ve got a whole community of family and friends under you, cheering you on and holding nets (not waiting for that fall!!)

  • Tracey

    I hear you, Village. I have a partner, and I don’t know what I’d do without him… hats off to you for doing it all! And I know it must be quite scary sometimes, and I can’t imagine when you can actually exhale… but you’re doing it. And your girls are brilliant! (and your panties are adorable…) xoxox

  • DesiValentine

    I had to share this on Facebook and Twitter because it’s just so bang-on. I’m not a single mum, but my mother is. And women like her (and you!) amaze me every day. Great post!

  • http://www.myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com Nancy

    Thank you Roxanne.
    Let’s add financial too while we are at it.

  • Roxanne

    As usual, you nailed it! So true and friends who complain of being a single parent fora few days if the other is away have no concept but think they do. It’s not just the physical but the mental, emotional and psychological side of things and feeling that responsibility

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