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    Categories: Motherhood

Things I Hope My Kid Never Grows Out Of

“It goes so fast!”

It’s such a trite phrase, handed out by moms who know better and grandmas who have been there and done that, and uttered by strangers in checkout lines everywhere. I know it’s true, but I’m praying everything slows down a little. I’m just not ready to let everything go. These are some things I hope my kid never grows out of.

1. His Mispronounced Words.
He couldn’t pronounce ‘portable’ for the longest time and used to say ‘cornable’ instead. Our hometown was “Assford”, not “Abbotsford.” Batteries were “battitties” and most recently HDMI cords were “homey cords.” He was really concerned that Five Nights at Freddy’s “IV” was coming out, relieved when we explained it was the number of a sequel and not a medical emergency, and he admitted, “I don’t know Roman numerals.” Facebook memories reminded me of the time he said “earth certificate” instead of birth certificate. He calls group hugs “groupons” because we all get a discount on personal space.

2. His Lack Of Filter.
We were getting ready for a party and I was in the shower, nervous because we were running out of time with a hair full of shampoo. I could hear his little voice asking my boyfriend how long until guests would arrive and my boyfriend was shushing him and he said, “Why? Is it because it’s going to stress my mom out?” He also told a cleaning lady who was helping us after I had a car accident that she was there because “Mommy is fragile.”

3. His Cuddles.
He told me “I’m affectionate because you spend so much time cuddling me.” Gosh, I hope he never grows out of that. He announces to my boyfriend “I’m ready for my nightly carry” every night before bed because he knows he will get a piggyback ride if he gives those puppy dog eyes. How could anyone resist?

4. His Empathy.
I use it as a parenting tool and he uses it back on me. “How would you feel, Mommy, if a grown up asked you to do chores?” It’s a valid question. He cares so much about this family and I love that about him.

5. His Entrepreneurial Spirit.
My child tried to sublet me his bedroom as “the office I deserve,” and assured me that pictures of his vacation would be available for purchase upon his return, thus launching his freelance photography business. He also bills my mom for selfies he leaves on her iPad unsolicited.

He’s bounding along ahead and I can hardly keep up. He’s so quick to remind me he’s going into grade 4, and soon he will be in middle school, then high school, then college. I look back at the ultrasound pictures and can’t believe how big he is now and I know I will miss these days. The people in the checkout line were right, like the grandmas and moms before me.

It goes so fast.

Alison Tedford: