1 11/04/2014 parenting Parenting Issues

He’s No Bully! Or Is He?

Tomorrow night is a bullying awareness night at Will’s school. I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll be honest…last Tuesday, I skipped pumpkin carving night and sent him with a sitter so I could go to spin class. But this Tuesday? My legs will have to wait an extra week to turn to rubber.

I want to learn more about how to deal with it from both sides – when your kid is the bully and when he’s being bullied. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in grade one, there’s a TON more feedback about who said what and who was being mean to who. I feel a bit lost frankly.

I want Will to be strong, secure and confident. I don’t want him to be cocky, bossy or over-confident.

Right now, he’s trying to figure it out. And I’m trying to figure out how to coach him through it.

There is a ton of ‘so and so is really mean to me’ or ‘so and so doesn’t like me at all.’ But I’ve also watched him with his buddies and frankly he can be a jerk! I have a hard time watching it and generally intervene. But I’m not sure that’s the way to go?!

Last week, he told me about this older kid who said he couldn’t to sit next to him. I told him to tell him that kid that he could sit wherever he liked, and if the kid didn’t like it, he could move somewhere else. After I thought maybe that’s not the right advice? I really don’t know!

So the flipside? Friday night he told me that he and his buddy told all the younger kids to…and I quote…’Respect their elders.’ WHAT??? I think I gave him the ‘oh no you didn’t’ finger waggle. And I explained that ‘the elders’ of this sentence was for actual old people. Like ME.

Bigger kids, bigger problems right? How do you navigate these murky waters?? When do you intervene or when do you let things play out as they will? You tell me and I’ll tell you if I learn the same tomorrow night.

*Remember how hard you thought it was when all you had to deal was changing diapers…she smiles.*

 

  • Julie

    i find all of these bullying seminars quite useless to be honest. there will always be bullies, there always have been bullies and they will never, ever go away. the “problem” is the bystanders. we need bystander seminars. one kid will bully another and 10 more will watch…those 10 are against the bully but are afraid to stand up and be heard! that’s where the focus should be.

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