4 06/27/2012 entertainment Humour

words for wednesday-the 3 worst things to say to a woman

what not to say.jpg

I had just arrived to the wonderful beautiful magical perfect wedding and had been seated in the church no fewer than 3 minutes when woman seated in pew in front of us, turns around to say hello. Her spidey senses were tingling because I was chatting with her husband, seated next to me.

I hear the name- same as the groom- and say “are you the mother?”
NEVER say this even if it is possible
always say “how are you related”? (yup she was the sister- step but still)
Did you hear me?
Ok it is true I think I am 30 and that everyone else is old. But I must not let on that I feel this. In this moment all the colour left my skin and my body floated up to the ceiling of the church and tried to escape throught the back door. How could I have insulted someone in the first 3 minutes? Seriously it must be some kind of record.
Take it on good record to also never say
“when are you due?”
“No, I saw your husband  tonight. He definitely is not working late”
It is truly a marvel the way my mind can work so quickly at times and so slowly at others
  • http://www.myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com Nancy

    I love this story. I am pretty sure that I do this stuff weekly.We should start a support group for the foot in mouth crowd.

  • Heather!

    A woman I used to work with once mentioned that she had seen Paul McCartney in concert. My brain, struggling for a conversation point to connect to what she had said, came up with this gem: “Really? With the Beatles?”
    The woman is older than I am, yes. But only by a few years. The Beatles had, of course, broken up before I was born. I was in kindergarten when John Lennon was shot. OF COURSE I knew she was too young to have seen the Beatles!! OF COURSE I knew that! DUH!! But that’s what my mouth said. She was cool about it, laughed and playfully chastised me. But I thought my face would never return to its normal color, and I’d have to go through the rest of my life with a scarlet mask of horror.
    On balance, though, it’s okay because a woman once asked me–when I was twenty-seven–if the guy I was with was my son. He was twenty-five.

  • Julie

    gaaahhhhhh!!!!! i don’t ask the pregnancy question until the baby is crowning…seriously.
    “how are you related”….putting that one in the brain bank!

  • Tracey

    Oh no!! *snorts* It happens… I’m sure she forgave you quickly, Charming Village… who could stay mad at you?!

More Posts From The Entertainment Category

You Can't Hurry Love: 4 Good Reasons Why We're Always L…

As a family, we are chronically late. We do not do mornings. We are not morning people. We will likely never be morning…

Why Jamie Oliver Wants Justin Trudeau To Join The Food…

When we heard that celebrity chef Jamie Oliver was jumping across the pond to visit Canada, you bet we got pretty…

Kelly Oxford: The Calgary Mom Behind Those Donald Trump…

On Friday, when a video from 2005 surfaced showing Presidential candidate Donald Trump using the phrase "grab her by…

0 TV

How Parenting Is Like An Episode Of Scandal

I've been Netflix bingeing and that can only mean one thing—parenting pop culture. My latest indulgence…